FC77 Rangers 0 vs. Azzuri 1

April 30, 2008

The Azzuri: A Haiku
Twenty minutes late
Plenty of complaints and gripes
No time left to tie

Allow me to present a brief overview of the recent Rangers-Azzuri match history to put this contest into proper perspective:

2005 Rangers lose 0-10...or something like that. I actually missed that match. I had tickets to "The Lion King". Sue me.

2006 Rangers tie the Azzuri 0-0. Two 'Gers goals are disallowed for "offsides". A belligerent Azzuri player is red carded for dissent and unsportsmanlike conduct, tries to pick a fight with Jim Snyder, refuses to leave the field, then begs the referee not to report it after the match.

2007 Rangers tie the Azzuri 1-1. Brian Bauman steamrolls his way straight up the middle and scores in the first three minutes. Using borrowed players because they couldn't field a full strength squad, the Italians score a controversial second half goal, much to chagrin of the 'Gers. Angry, profanity-laden emails follow.

2008 The Yellow and Black meets the Blues back at the Montessori Earth School for a 6:30 p.m. kick-off under unstable skies on 30 April. What, the opposing team doesn't have their player cards or roster? Maybe we'll kick-off at 6:35. No? How 'bout 6:40? Still no cards? Maybe 6:45. Still not here. Sometime around 6:50 the Azzuri player finally shows up with the paperwork to officially play the match and sometime just shy of 7:00 referee Ben Warren blows the whistle to start the match. According to regulations, Warren explains, the teams must play equal halves and due to the late start and pressing threat of darkness, the match proceeds with 30-35 minute halves.

Play started optimistically enough for the home side. Playing the typical 4-4-2, James McConnachie and Gary Foubister started up front; Thom Fahrbach, Aaron Radigan, Matt Muralt, and Jim Snyder controlled the midfield; Jim Seaton, Brian Bauman, Dan Calkins, and David Hayden anchored the back line with Steve Berg in the box. A quick goal looked promising as the Ranger's first shot clattered off the crossbar followed shortly by Muralt's 40 yard strike from the right side which forced the Azzuri keeper to leap and deflect it...again off the woodwork. Boasting an almost full roster with ample substitutes including Dario Lemos, Bullie Sibanda, Mark Vogel, Sean Ingersoll, Ron Burden, and Ron King, 'Gers pressed the match and kept possession in the attacking half for long stretches of the half. Lemos' near post shot forced their keeper to get dirty for the save and Azzuri counter-attacks were pushed to the outside and cleared out of play. Berg made a spectacular one-on-one save against a breaking striker and pounced on several loose balls in his area. The fullbacks worked well to coordinate their offsides trap, as evidenced by the loud, frequent and occasionally histrionic cries of outrage from the opposition. The first forty-five minute half--oops, my bad, thirty-ish minute half--passed with the score deadlocked at nil.

The second half, quickly started to maximize field daylight, saw much of the same play as the in the first. Rangers liked to move the ball down the wings and the Azzuri worked shorter passes up the middle with occasional runs straight at the fullbacks. It was one of those runs that saw the Blues strike three-quarters of the way through the period and go up 1-0. Unwilling to give up, 'Gers fought on and demonstrated some notable urgency with our soon-to-be trademarked crunching tackles, shoulder challenges, and spirited on-field talk. The referee cautioned Fahrbach with a yellow card about five minutes from time for a tackle on the keeper deep in the box as he tried to find the equalizer. Despite our best efforts, Warren's final whistle came all too soon (literally and figuratively). To have lost by a goal after a full ninety minutes would have been unfortunate; to lose by a goal after only an hour or so seems just plain bogus. It was with this thought that the manager changed up his standard post-match handshake chant from "Good game, good game, good game..." to "Good three-quarters of a game, Azzuri, maybe we'll play a full one next time..."

Kendall Ingersoll and Connor Foubister performed Junior Ranger duties for Match Day Three of the season and our side boasted a few spectators, including recovering player Kyle Gunsul and his dog. Having been drubbed the first week, losing at the death the second week, and now coming up short in an abbreviated match the third week, the Rangers are cautiously hopeful our fortunes will turn for the better...because barring a giant meteor striking us all dead next week, I am not sure what new misfortunes the Soccer Gods might have in store for us.

Next match:
FC77 Rangers vs. No Subs
Montessori Earth School
7:00 p.m. K.O. ... not 7:25. I'll let it go now.

Sean-Scott Ingersoll