FC77 Rangers 1:4 No Subs

FC77 Rangers 1 - No Subs 4

(Radigan - 10')

"No Subs" my ass. They had, like, four or five of them.

The Spring 2009 GPSD O-30 Third Division campaign started off according to schedule, with Aaron Radigan putting the home side up on a terrific goal in the tenth minute, but opposition side No Subs apparently did not get he memo that they were supposed to roll over and die for the second half and staged a dramatic comeback. The match finished 1-4 and while the resulting score line was not the result 'Gers wanted, the squad will not doubt rally for a better performance next week against Wolfhounds FC.

Rangers introduced two new players for the season opener, goalkeeper Ian Rose and FC77 Newcastle transfer Brian Gaffney. With several regulars unavailable due to scheduling conflicts--I mean, who schedules a match on Palm Sunday? That's just crazy. It's like scheduling a derby match on Easter Sunday! What? Oh, um, never mind--the extra numbers were appreciated as the uncharacteristically pleasant Match Day One temperatures made for a warm first run-out. With striping and other final field preparations completed just minutes before the opening whistle, 'Gers rolled out in the familiar 4-4-2:

Rose, keeper

Seaton - Bauman - Snyder - Pullen, fullbacks

Ingersoll - Gaffney - Radigan - Fahrbach, midfielders

Foubister - McConnachie, strikers

Vogel, Sibanda, King, reserves

FC77 fans were heartened by the return of Bullie Sibanda, playing his first match since he broke his wrist last October in the second leg of the fall series. Despite No Subs claiming possession for most of the opening twenty minutes, it was 'Gers that claimed first blood around the tenth minute. Fed by Foubister from the middle to the outside left, Radigan rounded his marker and, while appearing to look for a tight angle cross, opted to go for the frame and beat the keeper on a wildly difficult shot from almost the end line. Heartened by the early strike, 'Gers held firm for the remainder of the first half. While the team worked to refamiliarize themselves after a five month break, the match grew increasingly physical. Gaffney in particular seemed to relish the tackling, a feature not permitted in the 0-40 divisions. More than once No Subs appealed to the ref for a free kick after Gaffney cut down an opposition player, but the tackles were clean and fair and referee Saul Hernandez waved play on. With a fancy display of head tennis between Foubister and McConnachie as they raced through the middle capping the end of the first half, a good result seemed hopeful if not guaranteed.

Then came the second half. Stupid second half.

No Subs equalized almost immediately after the restart, with a successful corner kick around the 47th minute. The Yellow and Black answered with a breakaway run along the right that saw King and Sibanda send up a cross to the center that pinballed and ricocheted through several player's legs before Ingersoll got a left foot to it and blasted it off the left upright. Stupid left upright. Come the 55th minute, No Subs converted a direct free kick into money with a chip over the wall and into the upper right corner to go ahead. Despite several forays into No Subs' half of the pitch, an answer was not coming and No Subs compunded their lead with a slicing run through the middle and, in added extra time, an exact repeat of the chipped wall free kick from outside the top of the box. One last jailbreak toward the visitor's goal, with Gaffney providing good service to a rush of 'Gers inside the twelve, went wide before Hernandez whistled the end of Match Day One.

For match photos, please click here.

While the loss frankly sucks, it was pointed out that the last time No Subs beat us, we won the division. I'm going to let you mull on that for the week as we get ready to welcome Puppies FC (sorry, Wolfhounds FC--those guys know I love 'em) back to the MES next Sunday.

Match notes: Attendance was estimated at 12-14, which may be a season opener record for the squad...4 match balls were lost over the fence during the 90 minutes, of which 3 were reclaimed by FC77 president Mike Calder...Several very cool "Junior Ranger" t-shirts were spotted at the match. Sean has some still available for only $10...No yellow or red cards were displayed during the match...Next week's match is scheduled for the holiest day in the Christian calendar; what's up with that? Chocolate eggs will be furnished by Manager Sean for any Junior Rangers who come out to watch (unless your family's personal beliefs or chocolate allergies conflict with that, in which case, I won't).

Next match:

FC77 Rangers v. Wolfhounds FC

Sunday, 12 April - 12:00 noon KO

Montessori Earth School

Please remember to have your dog spayed or neutered.

Blue Monk 2 vs. FC77 Rangers 5

(Scorers: Ntini 25', 65', 75', Blue Monk O.G. 40', Sibanda 60')

September 13, 2008 - 4:00 p.m. KO - Montessori Earth School

Next match:

FC77 Rangers v. Azzurri

Saturday, 27 September, 2008

4:00 p.m. KO

Montessori Earth School

Controlled Chaos 1 vs. FC77 Rangers 6

(Scorers: Ntini 4', 60', Burden 9', Radigan 50', McConnachie 75', Vogel 85')

September 13, 2008 - 4:00 p.m. KO - Montessori Earth School

FC77 Rangers opened the title defense of their Spring 2008 Division Championship against recently relegated opponents Controlled Chaos, a former GPSD O-30 Second Division squad...the exact same week that, buried deep beneath the French-Swiss border, the multi-billion dollar Large Hadron Collider was activated in an attempt to discern the mysteries of the Big Bang by analyzing and controlling the chaos of subatomic particle interactions. Hmm... Rangers playing Controlled Chaos. Large Hadron Collider making controlled chaos. Coincidence? I think not. Would Rangers self-destruct in their first test of the season and implode against the unknown opponent? Would the Large Hadron Collider self-destruct in the first test run and implode the entire earth in the resulting black hole/matter-anti matter reaction? (Scientists estimated there was a 1:1,000,000,000,000 chance it could happen!) There was only one way to find out. Get your muons on, baby! It's game time!

Large Hadron Collider

'Gers returned back to the Montessori Earth School under cloudless skies to the rousing support of approximately two dozen supporters. The east sideline was well represented with spouses, Junior Rangers, and a faithful contingent of FC77 Newcastle players sticking around after their 2:00 p.m. match. With such a good crowd on hand, the Yellow and Black were in no mood to disappoint...and so proceeded to kick the living quark out of Controlled Chaos. Welcome to the O-30 Third Division, boys! [Please note: In keeping with the quantum physics theme of this summary, the match report may be filled--nay, littered--with lame science metaphors. Deal with it.]

New goalkeeper Brett Baumgarte, acquired in the off-season to replace Steve Berg, debuted between the sticks for Rangers. The rest of the starting XI included Fahrbach, Vogel, Bauman, and Pullen on the back line; Sibanda, Burden, Radigan and Muralt in the midfield; and Ntini and McConnachie as the strike force. Ingersoll, Foubister, Calkins and eventually Seaton formed the reserves for the afternoon.

Chaos took the opening kick-off and quickly shuttled the ball up the field in attack...not quite as fast as the speed of the protons in the 17 mile tunnel of the Large Hadron Collider (estimated at 99.999999% the speed of light!), but enough to get the defender's attention. One of Brett's first actions as a Ranger was a sprawling one-handed cross-body stop to prevent a sure goal. The resulting counterattack was a thing of beauty as the ball was immediately worked along the far touchline to Ntini who dribbled his way through several defenders before letting fly with a shot from the top of the box. It dropped in the upper-right corner and 'Gers were up 1-0 in the fourth minute. Burden got his name on the score sheet for the first time since his inaugural season five minutes later with a well-placed shot past the keeper after receiving a cross from Ntini. Chaos tightened up their defense for the next thirty-five minutes and kept the score line at 2-0. The defense communicated well with one another to check the occasional through ball and play "safety first" defense to allow numbers to get back as the situation required. Baumgarte's thundering punts and goal kicks allowed the attack to start well into the opposition's half of the pitch and the wings did a great job of opening up the field and sending crosses back into the mixer. Late in the first half, Ingersoll received a tidy lay-off after a fine series of lateral passes and his near post blast was bobbled by the keeper, allowing Muralt to surge forward and head the loose ball. The ball didn't go in, but the resulting collision with the keeper stopped action for a few minutes as ice and cold-packs were applied to the keeper's head. Talk about your large header colliders! (Large header collider? Large Hadron Collider? Get it?)

With only eleven players, Chaos had no substitutes to bolster their numbers and fatigue appeared to become a factor for them as the match continued. Rangers became more bold with their attacks, pushing the fullbacks into striking positions not only on corners but during regular play, too. Jim Seaton, playing left back at the start of the second half, pushed forward and took a rare shot from inside the Chaos box that required an expert save to keep out. Radigan opened his fall account around the fiftieth minute with a cool strike after a flurry of shots and passing in front of the goal mouth found him open in the center. Ntini and McConnachie then took turns for the next fifteen minutes running down Route One balls past the dogged defenders, often beating their trap or simply running them down as they tried to clear it out. Both of them eventually collected their just desserts, with Ntini getting his brace in minute 60 and McConnachie atoning for two other near-misses by expertly finishing a poacher's goal in the seventy-fifth. Vogel finished out the Rangers scoring with a simple tap-in after the Chaos keeper blocked a blast but fumbled the collection. Chaos did collect a goal of their own deep into added time with an inspired solo run, to which their center midfielder quipped, "great job, now we only need five more."

Having opened the fall campaign with a convincing win, 'Gers look forward to the fabled Blue Monk derby next Saturday. A preseason friendly with that squad ended with a 1-1 tie and the Yellow and Black are all too aware that the Monk are eager to avenge their 7-3 defeat from last spring. Be there or be E=mc (squared)!

Next match: Blue Monk vs. FC77 Rangers

Saturday, 20 September, 2008

4:00 p.m. KO

Montessori Earth School

Editor's note: A recent photograph from the Large Hadron Collider revealed the discovery of the most important subatomic particle in the known universe...

FC77 Rangers 5 vs. Bridgetown FC 3

GPSD Over-30, Third Division Championship Match
(Scorers: Radigan 2’; Ntini 10’, 60’, 82’; Muralt 70’)

It was quite simply one of the most exciting championship football matches ever played in recent history.

May 26, 1999: Manchester United – FC Bayern Munich, Champion’s League Final, Camp Nou, Barcelona.

May 13, 2006: Liverpool-West Ham, FA Cup Final, Millenium Stadium, Cardiff, Wales.

July 9, 2008: FC77 Rangers vs. FC Bridgetown, GPSD O-30 Third Division Rose City Final, Delta Park #8, Portland Oregon.

Oh yeah. It was that good.

‘Gers finished their improbable Cinderella run from the basement to the pinnacle of the O-30 Third Rose City Division with a stunning 5-3 victory over previously indestructible FC Bridgetown and in the process, hoisted the trophy for the first time in ten-twelve years. After an amazing 4-0 run to end the season (5-0-1 if you include all the friendly matches against No Subs), the Yellow and Black found themselves on the pitch one last time with a rival that had run roughshod over most of the division. Bridgetown hadn’t lost all season and had only given up 12 goals in ten games while amassing a staggering +18 goal differential. Going in, the squad hoped to keep the match close and perhaps improve upon the 4-1 loss from the replay. Statistically, there was nothing to suggest that FC77 even had a chance, but then again, Goliath should have crushed David and the USSR should have out-skated the US in 1980.

I’m actually running out of metaphors to illustrate the magnitude of the match.

Despite being without Gary Foubister (work), James McConnachie (travel), and Ron King (suspension), ‘Gers fielded a comfortable complement of fifteen, marking the first season in many, many years when the team didn’t play short all campaign long. The starting XI included Berg in his final appearance as goalkeeper; Pullen, Bauman, Calkins, and Seaton at fullback; Snyder, Radigan, Muralt, and Lemos as midfielders (although Dario did roam pretty freely for most of the first half); and Ntini and Burden as forwards. Ingersoll, Fahrbach, Vogel, and Sibanda were the reserves for a 7:00 p.m. kick-off that included a record two dozen supporters, including representatives from FC77 squads Old Nicks, Newcastle and PBR as well as Mojos. Kyle Gunsul, still recovering from multiple surgeries, also came to give voice to the squad as did several family members. Ingersoll’s promised pre-match pep talk was surprisingly brief given the fact that he had been working on it for five straight days: “Guys, it’s been a great run and whatever happens here is just icing on the cake. Let’s have fun and whatever happens, well, what the hell.”

“What the hell” became “WHAT THE HELL?!” in a matter of just two minutes as ‘Gers intercepted the Bridgetown kick-off, fed it down the field along the near side and found Radigan charging through the middle of the box. Deftly taking the pass on his right and then sharply juking left, Radigan killed the play with a shot to the left side of the goal. The snap of the net stunned the home side and brought the FC77 bench to hoarse delight. AJ, FC77 PBRmy field marshal and most vocal fan, let roar with a cry of “GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!” that lasted, in all honesty, a solid 45 seconds. Seriously. (You try it—not as easy as it seems.) Having breached Bridgetown’s defenses in just under 120 seconds, ‘Gers quickly began to think that just playing for a respectable loss was not necessarily the best possible result. The lead doubled around minute ten when Burden, sliding wide left, took a pass and dropped one of his typical tasty crosses into the box. The cross became a shot when the keeper bit on it and, bobbling the catch, allowed Ntini to kick the ball back into the goal. Bridgetown protested vociferously but the referee would have none of it and denied their appeals with a pantomimed juggling motion that proved he knew the keeper did not have possession. Rangers 2, Bridgetown 0 after ten minutes. At that point, the unspoken thought started to spread along the sidelines: “Holy bleep! We could actually win this thing!”

Bridgetown proved they would not go quietly into that good night and the next fifteen minutes revealed the squad we had seen before. Several attacks pushed ‘Gers back onto the defensive as the league leaders started to funnel their attacks through their potent striker Josh. Beating the trap, he was denied a goal only by Berg’s quick movement off the line and subsequent clearance to the outside...and soon thereafter by a frantic scramble as Calkins, Bauman and Pullen threw themselves in rapid succession at the shot. Realizing that 90% of their offense was in their striker, Lemos started channeling his roving play toward him and frequently played him man on man. Around the twenty-fifth minute Bridgetown strung together a series of passes, released Josh on a footrace, and he scored. Not a single Ranger hung their heads as they lined up for the restart. Muralt, Sibanda, Ingersoll and even Seaton all took shots at the Bridgetown goal from various distances but couldn’t yet find the third. Bridgetown responded and shuttled a short run along the far side, turning the midfielder and heading into the box. With the striker running along the end line, Berg started screaming: “Challenge him! Challenge him! Take him out!” Bauman obliged and wiped out everything in a six foot swath from the edge of the six yard box to the end line—all ball, a lot of player, and a hell of a tackle. ‘Gers cleaned up the corner kick and went into half up 2-1.

Various tactical and motivational methods were reviewed in the team huddle. Power bars were offered up, spectator support was received warmly, and the sides went back onto the clover pitch with only 45 minutes to settle it all. Mike Calder, FC77 Newcastle manager and former GPSD member, had brought a trophy, old and dusty, at Ingersoll’s request so on the off-chance the squad won, they had something to hoist and celebrate. Standing among the empty Gatorade bottles, unused kits and jerseys, the 36” tall trophy, for all its height, generated little comment. Perhaps nobody wanted to jinx the match. Perhaps everybody was so fixed on the match they didn’t notice it. Perhaps I’m reading way too much into this for the sake of dramatic literary transition from the first half to the second, but regardless, the dusty little soccer figurine at the top of the trophy was tantalizingly close, but perhaps 45 minutes too far.

(Not bad, eh? Eh?)

Both sides threw everything they had at each other right from the start. With Bauman and Pullen shouting directions from the back and keeping the defensive shape tight, Rangers attacked every ball in the air, on the ground, and at the player. Snyder executed more than a few textbook slide tackles and even took a cleat slash to the top of the nose. Pullen and Calkins played their markers hard and kept fighting for the ball even after they had been knocked down. Lemos dedicated his efforts to containing Josh 100% of the time and helped clog the middle. Honestly, every single player left everything they had on the pitch. Bridgetown strikers were taken down and out by one and two ‘Gers defenders at a time—sometimes simultaneously. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen two guys tackle a player at the same time...and then have a third defender sweep in and take the ball out. Radigan and Muralt owned the air in the middle. Vogel and Fahrbach made life miserable for the other team with persistent challenges, tackles, and clearances down their lines. Burden, playing striker, would frequently drop back and attack Bridgetown ball handlers from behind. Sibanda would change up the direction of play and release Ntini on dancing runs along the outside. Frustrated by their lack of containment, the opposition often resorted to pulling Ntini down. A free kick from one such foul (earning Bridgetown a caution) drifted left over the mixer and found Snyder, rushing forward from his wing back position, who headed the ball past the keeper—only to have the goal called off inexplicably for offside. Ntini was similarly robbed by the linesboy on at least two other occasions. Despite the team’s efforts, Bridgetown released Josh on another sprint to the goal (he really is fast) and he equalized. 2-2. From the sidelines, the dream scenario seemed to be slipping away, if just a bit. Fahrbach asked the manager if extra time would be played with a tie at the end of regulation.

“No, the ref said we’ll go to straight to penalty kicks.”
“Do you have shooters picked out?”
“Yeah. Maybe it won’t come to that.”

Just a few minutes later, almost as if on cue, Ntini broke through the Bridgetown line, the linesboy kept his flag down, and two cuts along the right gave him a clean look at goal. The keeper had no chance as the shot snapped past him. The crowd roared with delight again and the Yellow and Black reclaimed the lead...

...far too briefly. Rallying their own run, Bridgetown sent a midfielder wide to the corner and deposited a cross back into coverage. The bouncing ball found a non-Josh attacker who got a foot to it and slotted it low left. 3-3 in the 69th minute. Perhaps penalties would settle it after all...

...or perhaps not. Taking the kick-off, Muralt trapped the ball just inside the center line, maybe ten yards in from the side and launched the now legendary shot that effectively killed Bridgetown’s spirit. A kick that rivaled former Ranger Andre Debar’s 45 yard strike at Hillsboro Stadium boomed over the entire Bridgetown team and started dropping toward the goal. Was it a cross? Was it a shot? I believe Muralt even apologized as it started to drop from orbit. “Sorry, guys,” he said as the keeper continued to track it back...back...and then lunged up...only to have the ball, the beautiful gold and black match ball, crash into the net like a synthetic leather artillery shell and effectively explode any hope of another rally. As the bench screamed in almost girlish delight, Lemos ripped off his shirt and started the mad celebration around Muralt. I believe at that moment every Ranger on the field finally knew we were going to win. A goal such as this deserves a name, like “The Hand of God Goal”.

I shall christen it “Death From Above” because it killed off Bridgetown once and for all. And because “Matt Muralt’s Really Awesome Super Long Goal From Midfield” doesn’t sound half as cool.

Ntini collected his hat trick just eight minutes from time with another waltzing run through, around, and behind the defense after a delightful pass from the midfield. The squad locked down play for the remaining eight minutes. Josh had one more stabbing attack and got one on one with Berg, who, fittingly, made the last save of his Ranger career a highlight reel move by making himself big and then cutting back to his left to catch a near point blank shot that was blasted to the far corner. Josh slid to the ground and thumped the grass in frustration. A few more clearances, some furtive glances by the referee at his watch and then the three most beautiful sounds the team has ever heard...a trio of whistle blasts to end the match.

“Do you believe in miracles? YES!”

The squad shook hands with the opposition, Lemos tore off his jersey again, and somebody collected the match ball. Calder came onto the field with the trophy. “Where do you want to do this? In front of goal or right here?” “Here” was a section of grass not too far from where Muralt had launched “Death From Above.”

“Here” would work.

The squad gathered around. Ingersoll clutched the dirty statue, almost half as tall as him. Family members and club players formed a small group in front of the beaming team. Shutters snapped and flashes erupted. Calder and David Porter raised their cameras as the Rangers closed ranks and started patting the golden figurine topper. “We should bite it, like Wimbledon,” somebody cracked. Calder asked if we were ready for the shot. “Ready?”

The manager smiled and posed the trophy boldly in front of team:

“RANGERS!”
FC77 RANGERS
GPSD Spring 2008
Over-30 Third Division Rose City
DIVISION CHAMPIONS

I hope you have enjoyed this season as much as I have. We were a true “rags to riches”/Cinderella/”Rudy”/Insert Improbable Sports Cliché Here story...going from 0-4 to 5-5 to beating the undefeated leader of our division. When the season started, I had three goals:

1. Make sure we field at least eleven players every match. Check.
2. Try and win half of our matches. Check.
3. Beat the Azzurri. Check and mate.

More than that, I hope everybody had a good time and enjoyed themselves. I try really hard to make sure we don’t have any jerks on the team—you know my motto by now—and I look at the way we get along in victory and defeat and, compared to some of the other squads we played, I think we are doing all right. By just getting to the championship, we are approximately three and a half years ahead of schedule according to my master five year plan. With our win comes promotion into O-30 Division 2, which will be tough. Probably really tough. But you know, it’s all football, so it’s all good. Think of it as a chance to get even with Rose and Thistle. Whatever.

Best of luck to Steve Berg and Dario Lemos, who are leaving us for the distant lands of Las Vegas and Canada, respectively. You will be sorely missed and I’ll leave a standing spot on the club for both of you should you decide to return.

Rangers, you guys are the best. Thanks for all of your support, paying your player fees in a timely manner, offering good suggestions and keeping all the awesome post-match email strings resoundingly positive. Some guys define or see themselves in terms of their work. Not me. I totally see myself in terms of how I play.

And Seanny’s got the best teammates around!

Enough of the heartfelt mush. Take care of yourselves...

...fall season starts in a month and a half.

Cheers,

Sean

No Subs 1 vs. FC77 Rangers 3

(Scorers: Radigan 12', Ntini 75', Lemos 82')

July 2, 2008 (Rescheduled from June 11, 2008)

“All right, guys, this won’t be the biggest match we ever play as a team, but right now it is the most important.”

Four weeks into the spring season, beset by frustration, heartache and suffering almost every conceivable twist of cruel sporting luck, the Ranger’s goal was just to get a win. Locked firmly in the GPSD O-30 Third Division cellar—a tragically familiar place—most everybody on the squad was just happy for a clean slide tackle, a crisp pass, or even a goal…no matter how it went into the net. At 0-4 with only six games to play, the idea of even breaking even was just a fleeting notion. Bridgetown FC and No Subs were clearly dominating the score lines. But then, in the most clichéd of sport narratives, the Yellow and Black began putting the pieces of a complete team together and the results began to change. 0-4 became 1-4, then 1-5 and then…something more. Starting with a stirring vindication against Blue Monk, Rangers went on a three match win streak and slowly clawed their way up the table. The stunning six goal second half that sealed the NE Portland Chiropractic double gave Rangers their best point total ever with a single match remaining.

Oh, what a match it was.

The Rangers-No Subs replay took three evenings, 270 minutes, two venues, and three red cards to finally settle. With No Subs losing two of their last three and the Azzurri at fourteen points in the table, the winner of the ‘Gers-No Subs match would find themselves in second place. The first attempt to replay, in early June, was scrubbed due to an absentee referee. The 2-2 friendly was fairly played and well-received (see match result here). The reschedule at Tualatin High School on June 29th was similarly scrapped due to the lack of a match official, but the partially mixed-squad friendly did see ‘Gers win 4-2 and proved that a loss was not a foregone conclusion. The third replay, hastily set for July 2nd under muggy skies back at the Montessori Earth School, couldn’t have been more dramatic.

At stake was second place in the Rose City Division and a chance to play for the Championship.

Throngs (well, a dozen or so, but that counts as a throng in my book) of FC77 supporters lined the south sideline, including an entire Junior Ranger Corps. Jim Seaton, missing for several weeks with an injury, returned to the line-up for the first time since May and Dario Lemos, back from Argentina, also suited up. The familiar 4-4-2 consisted of Berg in goal; Fahrbach, Calkins, Bauman, and Pullen on the back line; Lemos, Radigan, Muralt, and Snyder commandeered the midfield; and King and Ntini started up front. Ingersoll, Seaton and later, Burden and Sibanda made up the reserves. True to their moniker, No Subs started eleven without substitutes and were only joined by extra players some twenty-five minutes into the match. The manager believed that a pivotal match deserved some sort of pep talk and came up with the opening quote to rally the troops…who promptly and good-naturedly gave him grief for his quasi-“Gipper” speech. (Rest assured, the manager is working on another great pep talk for next week.)

‘Gers took the opening kick-off and threatened early, but a No Subs counter five minutes in saw the shot blast off the crossbar and get the home team’s collective heart beating a little faster. A formal response was coming seven minutes later. A near side corner kick arched long over the mixer and seemed to fizzle out until Fahrbach, racing forward in a very Patrice Evra-esque fashion from his outside fullback position, collected the ball, turned it back inside and delivered a beautiful cross to the opposite post. Radigan punished his loose marker by driving the header into the upper left corner and after twelve minutes, ‘Gers were up a goal. No Subs equalized around the twentieth minute off a (in all fairness expertly struck) volley shot from outside the box, but unfazed, ‘Gers collected themselves and methodically began working the wings. Ntini had a few looks that caused the away team to scramble and Lemos’ point blank shot from inside the six was deflected by a brilliant reflex save from the No Subs goalie. Muralt came off the field around the half-hour mark nursing a calf injury but the midfield adapted and maintained good shape up and back. At the half, tied 1-1, the match was still either side’s to take.

The second half continued the run of play from the first 45 minutes, with ‘Gers working the outsides and No Subs, starting to tire, playing the middle. Bauman, Calkins, Pullen, Seaton and Fahrbach played good safety first defensive ball and reined in any stray runs, but with the exception of a direct kick to grab, Berg had relatively little to do in the second half. Snyder later produced a technically perfect textbook slide tackle directly in front of the supporters and that started the squad’s final rally. Knowing a tie would do them no good, Rangers pushed forward. Lemos was adjudged offsides several times, confirming our attacking intentions. When Ntini dribbled through their back line, cut outside right near the penalty spot, and then shot back to the middle, isolating and beating the keeper, the home side roared with relief and excitement. With fifteen minutes left and up a goal, ‘Gers collapsed back onto defense to answer a quick No Subs attack and then countered. Lemos, finally staying onside, took Ntini’s pass deep in their box and turned his shot to the lower left, putting ‘Gers up 3-1 with eight minutes left. The Argentine’s first FC77 goal couldn’t have come at a better moment and the Supporter’s section again cheered in approval...

...but the cheers turned quickly to surprised gasps as the on-field action turned ugly. Frustrated by his inability to halt Ntini’s dribbling attacks, a No Subs midfielder went in with a cheap, studs up tackle from behind. King retaliated with a shove, harsh words were exchanged, and the referee went to his pocket to produce red for, ultimately, two of the opposition and King, too. With the sides thinned down, both sides finished out the match uneventfully, with ‘Gers throwing in a few more crosses and running the clock out.

A pleased sense of accomplishment greeted the final blast of the whistle. The celebration was restrained and modestly understated. Kendall Ingersoll produced a celebratory box of Krispy Kreme donuts, the squad acknowledged the fans and the Junior Ranger corps with grateful applause and as twilight wrapped the field in shadow, the Yellow and Black took quiet pride in knowing that there was still one final match to play.

After almost everyone had left the pitch, just shy of nine o’clock, Ingersoll finished his final litter sweep of the grounds (hey, being a manager isn’t all glamour, fame and rock star partying, you know). The warm, moist air was turning cool and, as the evening faded to black, a series of red and green flares shrieked up into the sky and exploded over the trees to the southwest. Somewhere on the other side of the fence neighborhood kids were shooting bottle rockets and fireworks into the sky and under a dazzling canopy of sparks and starfire, Ingersoll locked up the Montessori Earth School for the final time.

Final Match:
GPSD Over-30, Third Division Championship Match
FC77 Rangers vs. Bridgetown FC
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
7:00 K.O.
Delta Park Field #8

NE Portland Chiropractic 3 vs. FC77 Rangers 6

(Scorers: Muralt (2), McConnachie (2), Ntini, King)

June 18, 2008

Tale of Two Halves

It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. In good spirits, the Rangers took the field against PDX Chiropractic having taken the first match rather easily. Minus Sean and Gary, the Rangers fielded only 12 players while PDX had a full compliment of 16, including a few new faces that proved to be better then what was expected. A cheer even went up when the Referee arrived to signify a match would be played and counted (unlike last week).

The Rangers started strong early, pressing PDX's keeper several times before the ball made it past mid-field for PDX. Unfortunately, that's when the game changed and PDX started to send runners at long balls fired over the top. The first few were denied, once by a diving save by Steve to his right, but the pressure continued and a 10 yard strike got through for the first goal of the game. Again PDX used the long ball to runners that set up another goal when keeper Steve came out to the 18 yard line only to let one slip low passed him. Even a sliding stab by Jim couldn't prevent the goal, only change it to the owned variety. The luck would not change as PDX scored again on a long run from mid-field that beat the best efforts of Steve to reduce the angle around 15 yards out. Seconds later the half-time whistle pronounced the worst half of Ranger soccer all season.

Serious consideration was given to cracking into Steve's and Mike's homebrew during the half-time break, but Malvern led the cry for an all out effort to attack. So, begins the greatest display of Ranger scoring on record.

Only 2 minutes into the second half and after a couple of early shots on goal, Malvern was tripped in the PDX penalty box. Matt stepped up and drilled the penalty kick, low and hard into the left corner (keepers hate those). The second Ranger goal came in the 49th minute, with a drive by James (I think). Bam, now we have a game. The Ranger's controlled the mid-field, consistently winning the 50/50 balls and moving through the center against the PDX weakness, until after several shots misfired, Ron picked one off from close range. Tied 3-3, the game had changed in only 15 minutes and PDX looked to get back the lead. This time the Rangers defense had all of the answers, as only 2 runs at goal produced a shot and Steve was out to deny the effort. Mark, Mike, Jim and Dan worked the ball away from trouble and utilizing the lines moved any danger away from goal.

The back breaker was soon to follow as Matt struck again. The goal was a clinic, as only a half dozen touches were required from keeper to Aaron, to Malvern, to Matt. Just like that, PDX was done. Goals from Malvern, then James sealed the win for FC77 Rangers, and full goal differential was achieved. Final score, 6-3 good guys. Then we drank beer!

Steve

No Subs 2 vs. FC77 Rangers 2

(Scorers: McConnachie 60', Radigan 73')

June 11, 2008

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right?

When life gives you a no-show for a referee, what do you do? Well, if you're Rangers and replay opponent No Subs, you report his absentee ass to the league, demand a replay for later in the season, and have a friendly non-league scrimmage...and that's just what happened June 11th at the Montessori Earth School. Determined not to let a fine evening go to waste, the two clubs waited around for fifteen minutes after the scheduled 7:00 kick-off before putting the ball into play. While the general feel and tempo of the match was distinctly different without the oversight of an official--one participant declared it was "... kind of like kissing your sister"--the mood was generally upbeat and the play fair. No Subs went up around the thirty-fifth minute on a shot from just inside the top of the box, but James McConnachie equalized at the hour mark off a cross from Malvern Ntini (I think). 'Gers claimed the lead later on when Mark Vogel and Aaron Radigan scrapped a goal from the keeper's clutches, but No Subs tied it back up. A third No Subs goal was disallowed by their own side due to offsides, which was hotly debated amongst the opposition.

Dan Calkins took the keeper's gloves for the second half, allowing Steve Berg to play out in the field for the first time in many seasons. A first half clip in the box could have allowed 'Gers to take a spot shot (but we declined) and a tackle on Radigan in the second half that was all player and no ball earned us a second trip to the charity spot. The No Subs keeper correctly guessed Matt Muralt's strike and made a sprawling save.

Whatever. Ultimately the score doesn't matter. When it was all over--with time being kept by Becki Ingersoll and communicated to the match participants via the Ingersoll family's Ford Escape car alarm--the teams shook hands in fine spirits. As one No Subs player commented, "That was the best friendly we've ever had."

Stay tuned to the website for information about the re-replay.

Cheers!

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

Azzuri 2 vs. FC77 Rangers 3

(Scorers: Ntini 58’, 70’, King 83’)

June 4, 2008

Everybody on this squad knows the history between our two teams and the seven years of defeat, controversy, and frustration we have endured at the hands (and boots) of the Italians. If this was the Olympics, the saga would be reviewed in a grainy, back-and-white video montage set to a lonely piano tune with images of us, heads down, walking in slow motion off the pitch. Perhaps it would be narrated by the late Jim McKay or Bob Costas. The last scene, however, would not be a “Spielbergian” close-up of a muddy ball in the rain or one of us hunched over on the touch line with an empty expression on our face...

...it would be a glorious full color, real-time shot of the ball smashing into the net for the third time as the Yellow and Black erupt into frenzied cheers! Somebody start playing Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana” for the soundtrack! We just kicked the Azzuri’s ass!

SUPER MARIO HASN’T BEEN BARRELED OVER THIS BADLY SINCE “DONKEY KONG”!

In the dramatic build-up to the June 4th replay with the Azzuri at the Montessori Earth School, manager Sean Ingersoll’s weekly email match reminder was succinct and simple:

“I want to win this match more than any other I have ever played. Be there.”

The Rangers showed up, all right, and responded with another epic performance. We out shot, out passed, out tackled and out mocked the Blues from whistle to whistle. When all things were finally made equal—each side fielding their own players and the match lasting for a full ninety minutes—‘Gers stepped up and gave the manager the victory he craved for so long.

FC77 supporters knew the magnitude of the match and a 300% increase in attendance from last week (do the math) gave additional voice to the cause. The 7:06 kick-off found Rangers sitting in their 4-4-2 with five reserves on deck. Berg, Snyder, Bauman, Calkins, Fahrbach, Foubister, Radigan, Muralt, Burden, King and McConnachie started and Lemos, Ntini, Sibanda, Vogel, and Ingersoll comprised the reinforcements. Our substitution mechanics have been slowly improving—thanks to everybody on the squad who offered suggestions, including the Inverse Gaussian Hazard Model and the two spreadsheets—and the familiarity/fluidity from last week seemed to continue as play started with good possession and distribution. Some early offsides calls against the visitors elicited the anticipated dramatic response, much to our amusement, but our defense stamped their authority on the match with some truly monster tackles and let it be known that nothing was going to be given in our house. Calkins worked hard to get inside the head of the primary Azzuri striker and rarely allowed him space to work. Radigan, Bauman, Muralt and Lemos all made frequent and punishing challenges; Aaron had a hang time on one tackle that lasted a good two seconds before he slammed into the ball and sent the midfielder flat to the grass. Even Ingersoll, sliding into the left back position, dropped the opposition’s number twenty with a hammer blow to the feet, courtesy of his new prototype Nike Mercurial Talaria4 boots he sported for the first time. (Thanks Brian!) When the striker protested to the referee, our entire back line got in his face and viciously ridiculed him.

I’ve never been so proud to be a manager. [Sniff!]

NOW THAT’S AMORE!

The on-field communication was good. With very little to do in the first half, Berg orchestrated the backline shape on several free kick defensive walls (“Four person wall! Left two steps! NOW!”) and still managed to make a dramatic stop or two as the occasion required. With Fahrbach, Snyder, and Vogel managing the wings and clearing traffic and the midfield dropping back to assist on defense, it was up to the offense to break the deadlock and come the 58th minute, they did. Ntini’s first half strike clattered down off the crossbar and bounced out of the six yard box but his effort around the hour mark was silky smooth. Dribbling around three defenders and slashing across the top of the box to the center of the field, Ntini unleashed a curling blast to the right side that the keeper got his fingers on but couldn’t deflect. Twelve minutes later he repeated by cutting through the Azzuri back line and isolating the keeper one on one. A quick move to the right gave him a clear look at goal and he killed the play off with a short strike inside the posts.

Then things got a little interesting. The Blues pulled one back a few minutes later with a crossing shot to the upper right corner and pressed the attack, keeping possession and sending ‘Gers into some frantic clearances. After we regained our shape, Burden, Sibanda and Foubister started working their respective wings and gave Rangers more movement along the outside. McConnachie ran onto a long hero ball and took it almost fifty yards to their goal, only to have the shot get blocked at the last moment (I think). King clinched the victory in the 84th minute when he broke free of his marker and blasted a low shot to the left back corner of the goal. 3-1 looks pretty comfortable in print, but our squad rarely makes things easy for ourselves, and the last six minutes was a tense, contentious defense siege that saw the Azzuri win four or five corners, seize upon our clearances, and put Berg under constant pressure. They bagged their second goal deep, deep into added time off a near side corner kick. Fahrbach and the rest of the sideline screamed for time and finally, at 8:43 p.m. PST, the referee gave the final three blasts of his whistle.

Rangers 3. Azzuri 2. Quello è come rotoliamo, bambino!

Special thanks to Connor Foubister for acting as our Junior Ranger on this historic night.

BUT…BUT…WHERE IS THE THIRD HEADLINE?!

Oh, it’s there, gentle reader. You just have to be bold and look for it. Cheers!

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

FC77 Rangers 7 vs. Blue Monk 3

(Scorers: Ntini 30’, 32’, 65’; Foubister 40’; Radigan 52’, McConnachie 72’,80’)

May 28, 2008

Duly inspired by the outstanding performance—and lacking an ‘80s power ballad to weave into the narrative thread of the match summary as I usually do around this time in the season—the Rangers/Blue Monk derby replay report will be presented in the form of a live online Match Tracker summary, as found on the www.uefa.com website during Champion’s League matches. I may not get all of the details exactly right, but I think the spirit is there...

0’ Welcome and good evening to FC77 Rangers Match Tracker!  Match Day
       Seven for the GPSD 0-30 Third Division spring season finds home
       side FC77 Rangers in a much anticipated replay against derby rivals
       Blue Monk here at the Montessori Earth School. 
0’ ‘Gers fans will of course remember the heart-breaking 1-2 loss at
       the death the last time these storied rivals met in late April.
0’ The pitch is freshly mowed but a bit soggy in parts.  The clumping
       grass could be a factor; it looks pretty slick out there but it
       remains to be seen how that will affect Rangers’ scrappy style of
       play. 
0’ The players are trickling onto the pitch.  It looks like ‘Gers will
       be sporting their home yellows...mostly because that’s the only kit
       they have.  Line-ups to be announced shortly.
0’ This just in:  Rangers only have eleven players and the 7:00 p.m.
       kick-off is almost underway.  Starting line-up looks like their
       favored 4-4-2.  Berg, Vogel, Calkins, Bauman, Hayden, Snyder,
       Radigan, Muralt, Ingersoll, Burden and King are all warming up. 
       Ingersoll wins the coin toss and elects to defend the Division
       Street end.  Monk will kick-off.  The weather has been a real factor
       in terms of supporter turn-out this evening. There are currently no
       fans in attendance at the MES.
0’ The referee has blown the whistle and we are underway!  The first
       fifteen minutes are brought to you by Gatorade.  “Is it in you?”
1’ Monk gives away possession and Rangers move forward.
3’ Ingersoll has a shot on goal from the left edge of the box.  It’s
       wide right.
4’ Monk is having some trouble clearing it out of their end.  Rangers
       are bringing it back.
5’ Snyder and King work a short series along the right and have an
       effort.  The Monk keeper collects.
8’ Burden brings the ball up the left sideline and sends a cross into
       the middle.  After some sliding, Monk clears.
10’ The reserves are starting to warm-up under the ‘Gers canopy tent.
       Looks like Lemos, Ntini, Sibanda and Foubister are all suited up.
       We’re getting reports that McConnachie is en route to the pitch. 
       Monk substitutes are also starting to arrive.
12’ Calkins and Bauman run down a rare Monk run through the middle and
       clear it out to Vogel, who distributes up the sideline.  Looks like
       Bauman is harassing one of the Monk midfielders...maybe Switzer?
15’ Blue Monk is adjudged to be in an offside position.  ‘Gers free kick.
15’ Hang on.  We’re experiencing some technical difficulties.

 [Synchronization error at linkmod 54532]

30’ GOAL!  Ntini (Rangers) scores!  Number 13 gets the home side up
       in front with a daring dribble along the right side, beating two Monk
       defenders and slotting home the shot at nearly point blank range. 
       The fans—if we had any—would be going wild.  (Rangers 1, Blue Monk 0)
32’ GOAL!  Ntini (Rangers) scores!  The ‘Gers striker doubles his
       tally in just over 120 seconds with another dazzling display of
       footwork on the near side.  He practically waltzes into the six yard
       box and passes it past the ‘keeper, who again had no chance. 
       (Rangers 2, Blue Monk 0)
35’ Monk threatens with a quick run along the east touchline and put
       it back to the middle of the box.  Berg scoops it up and punts it
       back upfield.
40’ GOAL!  Foubister (Rangers) scores!  Can you believe it?  Atoning
       for his unlucky miss in the twentieth minute, Foubister runs onto
       the diagonal pass, takes a touch to control, and buries it in the
       middle right of the net.  The last ten minutes have been amazing! 
       (Rangers 3, Blue Monk 0)
43’ It’s almost half-time, No indication from the official about extra
       time yet.  Looks like McConnachie is getting ready for the second
       half. 
45’ GOAL!  Lonnie (Blue Monk) scores!  The away side gets one back
       just before the half.  A quick run and a shot to the far post keeps
       this from being a rout.  (Rangers 3, Blue Monk 1)
45’+1 The first half ends.  A spicy ten minutes of sexy football gives the
       home side the lead, but Bauman reminds the squad in the team huddle
       that ‘Gers have been up before at the half with unfortunate results.
       Spirits are high as both sides switch ends. (Rangers 3, Blue Monk 1)

                                  HALF-TIME

46’ The squads are lined up and ready to play, but the official is
       nowhere to be seen.
46’ We’re not sure what the delay is...
46’ Did someone check the porta-potty?
46’ Seriously.  Is he in the john?
46’ The official blows his whistle and the second half is underway. 
       ‘Gers take the kick, start up the middle, and then swing it to the
       outside. 
49’ Ingersoll runs on to Muralt’s pass to the outside, cuts in past the
       defender and looks to the goal.  He’s got good support calling for
       the pass.  He swings in the cross...
49’ ...the pass goes for the far post.  It’s a little long for McConnachie
       but the keeper is looking a little casual and the ball dinks off the
       left upright.  Unlucky!  He’d like that one back.
50’ The Rangers back line slows up another probing Monk attack.  Berg
       falls on the ball and slings it out to the right.  Here come ‘Gers!
52’ GOAL!  Radigan (Rangers) scores!  Ingersoll’s second cross from
       the far side gets deflected back to the penalty spot where Radigan
       puts a thundering head to it.  The ball dribbles through the keeper’s
       gloves and stops a diameter and a half inside the goal.  Tough break
       for the away side, good fortunes for the Yellow and Black. 
       (Rangers 4, Blue Monk 1)
55’ GOAL!  Lonnie (Blue Monk) scores!  Not to be outdone, Monk’s
       striker answers with another goal of his own after a sprint gets him
       behind the back line and allows him to go one on one with Berg. 
       (Rangers 4, Blue Monk 2)
60’ GOAL!  Lonnie (Blue Monk) scores!  Uh-oh.  Lonnie gets his hat
       trick around the hour mark.  It’s starting to get a little anxious
       here at the Earth School.  “Squeaky bum time” as a great man from
       Scotland once said.  How will ‘Gers respond?  (Rangers 4, Blue Monk 3)
65’ GOAL!  Ntini (Rangers) scores!  Ntini claims a hat-trick of his
       own after a nice feed from McConnachie releases him into the defensive
       line and allows another point blank shot.  The goalie didn’t even try. 
       The bench collectively breathes a little easier. 
       (Rangers 5, Blue Monk 3)
68’ Penalty!  Ntini falls to the ground just inside the Monk box and after
       a moment’s deliberation, the match official points to the spot.  Monk
       is not happy and they are letting everyone know it.  That was a generous
       call, to be sure.  After a minute or so, Ntini steps up to take the
       shot...
71’ ...and in the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play, allows the keeper
       to  stop it.  The Football Karmic Balance has been maintained.  The
       keeper puts the ball back into play and Monk come back at the home side. 
       Lemos and Muralt break up the attack and distribute it wide left to
       Ingersoll.  He spies McConnachie near midfield, just onside of the Monk
       back line, and sends a long ball over the trap.
72’ GOAL!  McConnachie (Rangers) scores!  Aided by fresh wheels,
       McConnachie wins the footrace to the goal and takes Ingersoll’s assist
       straight to the bank.  (Rangers 6, Blue Monk 3)
75’ Surely a six goal effort with fifteen minutes left means victory...?
78’ Hayden clears out another Monk pass and allows the home side to regroup
       on the throw-in.  This is Hayden’s last match of the season as he and
       his family are expecting another baby next week.  The squad wishes the
       Haydens all the very best with their third child and look forward to
       seeing him back on the pitch in the fall.
80’ GOAL!  McConnachie (Rangers) scores!  Ntini returns the favor from
       the previous assist and lays off a tidy pass to McConnachie, who
       collects it and outmaneuvers the keeper to the left before sending the
       seventh goal into a virtually empty net.  (Rangers 7, Blue Monk 3)
84’ Rangers are continuing to make forays at the Monk goal. 
86’ Tempers start to flare when the opposing right back accuses Ingersoll
       of throwing an elbow at him when, in actuality, the strikingly handsome
       skipper was trying to avoid running into him.  Ingersoll responds with
       profanity and something to the effect of “Don’t [bleep] give me that
       [bleep]!  [Bleep!] that!”  Play proceeds after some uncharacteristically
       animated words.
88’ Almost home and dry, boys...
90’ No indication of extra time.  This division could really use a fourth
       official.  Actually, linesmen would be pretty cool, too.
90’+2 The second half ends.  (Rangers 7, Blue Monk 3)

                                  FULL TIME

90’ + A ten goal thriller—and some tense moments early in the second half—ends
       with the second victory of the season for the Yellow and Black.  Ntini
       gets a hat trick, McConnachie gets a brace, and goals from Radigan and
       Foubister round out the scoring.  Coupled with solid performances in the
       midfield and the back line, ‘Gers avenge the derby defeat in the second
       week of the season and look forward to next week’s epic match-up against
       the Azzuri, those whining, son of—

 [Synchronization error at linkmod 54532]

FC77 Rangers 1 vs. Bridgetown 4

(Scorer: McConnachie 25')

May 21, 2008

Showing a much improved effort from the season opener, Rangers' replay against league leaders Bridgetown FC was actually a much closer contest than the final score line indicates. Two professional grade Bridgetown strikes put the match out of reach, but for almost seventy minutes the match was hard-fought and fairly even...a definite turn around from the 0-6 defeat that opened the spring campaign.

'Gers welcomed back Malvern Ntini to the Montessori Earth School after being on-loan with FC Swoosh and his attacking presence made an immediate impact on the tempo and pace of the match. The home side fielded a near total complement of seventeen players and lined up in the usual 4-4-2: Steve Berg, goalkeeper; Brian Bauman, Dan Calkins, Jim Snyder and Mike Pullen, fullbacks; Gary Foubister, Aaron Radigan, Ntini, and Bulisani Sibanda, midfield; Ron King and James McConnachie, forwards. Reserves Ron Burden, Mark Vogel, Dario Lemos, Thomas Fahrbach, David Hayden, and Sean-Scott Ingersoll filled out the squad. Only Matt Muralt and Jim Seaton were absent for the 7:00 p.m. kick-off.

The Yellow and Black took the opening kick-off and immediately set up camp in the Bridgetown half. (Technically, the opposition only had nine players at the start, but I'm really not a numbers guy...and they picked up two or three additional players within the first fifteen minutes.) Good possession, fantastic dribbling through the middle, and a high back line all contributed to keep the ball far away from Berg...also for the first fifteen minutes. Several shots kept the Bridgetown keeper busy and, judging from the emphatic back-line chatter from BFC, there was genuine concern on the part of the other team. Around the twentieth minute, Bridgetown formed up and connected on their first and only chance thus far in the match, going up 1-0. McConnachie responded with a chance of his own a short time later, a glorious effort to the upper left corner after a feed from the center. Back on level terms, play continued back and forth. Bridgetown scored again after a fast throw-in but after 45 minutes the 2-1 score was certainly an improvement from 0-3 result in the corresponding fixture just five weeks ago.

Bauman got the second half underway with a rousing slide tackle on a sprinting Bridgetown striker inside the box that was clean as a whistle. He honored the charge with a "Yee-haw!" or some such rebel yell that even the forward admitted as he got up, "That was a really good slide." Hoping to catch their back line unawares, 'Gers started playing some Route 1 balls over the top for Ntini to run on. Two of his runs resulted in a narrow miss to the left and a ricochet off the goal post to the right. Burden had two long distance shots that backed the keeper up and made him scramble for the grab. Berg became progressively busier as Bridgetown also played longer balls; one rocket shot just inside the box blasted off his chest for Pullen to clear. About the seventieth minute or so, Bridgetown picked up a direct free kick about twenty-five meters from the goal. Rangers dutifully set three in the wall ten yards out but the resulting shot was truly professional grade stuff--not just MLS, either. It whipped and dipped to within six inches of the upper right intersection, beyond anybody's reach. The last goal came eight minutes later from the near sideline back to "Josh", Bridgetown's quick, short striker who turned it and from what seemed to be an impossibly tight angle, arced the ball into the far inside netting.

Fan support was good for the match despite the drizzle and cool evening air and, much to the manager's relief, the match ball which was punted over the fence in the first half was returned for future use. Given their form, it is unlikely that we will play Bridgetown again any time soon...they are strong favorites to win the league and would likely be promoted.

Next week: Rangers-Blue Monk Derby, Part II. Early scouting reports indicate that Monk's extra time game winning scorer has been suspended for fighting with NE Portland Chiropractic, so a repeat of the second week's heartbreaker seems unlikely.

Cheers...

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

FC77 Rangers 4 vs. NE Portland Chiropractic 0

(Scorers: King 30', 55', 75', Radigan 45'+1')
May 14, 2008

IT'S GOOD TO BE KING (AND PRETTY SWEET TO BE RADIGAN, TOO)

Quite simply, everything came together exactly like it should.

After four consecutive weeks of heartache and despair, Rangers put together a total football match and played their best game in the last three years, winning 4-0 against NE Portland Chiropractic. Ron King bagged the first 'Gers hat trick since spring 2006. Aaron Radigan added to his season goal count with a clinically dispatched shot that no keeper could have stopped. Steve Berg earned his first clean sheet of the season in fine style, going mano a mano with a lone striker on at least two occasions (maybe three) and robbing them blind. The makeshift back line, thrown together due to the absences of three of our regular defenders, stepped up and played their asses off and the midfield was up and back for the full ninety minutes. Rangers owned the passing game, the fifty-fifty balls in the air, the midfield, and the flanks. Everybody gave 100% and when it was all over, the grins on the sidelines barely told the whole story.

"I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP, MR. DEMILLE."

Gary Foubister set up a digital video camera to record the match (see video highlights below) and the Yellow and Black put on quite a show. We lined up in our usual 4-4-2. Berg minded the sticks, Sean Ingersoll and David Hayden played the outside backs, and Mark Vogel and Jim Snyder commandeered the center. Foubister, Radigan, Matt Muralt and Ron Burden took up the midfield positions and James McConnachie and King played up front. Super subs Dario Lemos, Bullie Sibanda, and Dan Calkins--outfitted prior to match time with new Puma boots courtesy of the local Fred Meyer--gave the squad good depth and needed reserves in the warm 72 degree evening air. NE PDX Chiropractic, to their credit, showed up on time, had all of their player cards and roster, and were ready to play at 7:00 p.m. at the Montessori Earth School.

Game on! PDX kicked off to start but 'Gers soon reclaimed possession and kept good pressure on the Division End goal mouth. We played a solid mix of short passes, control, wing runs and some "kick and run" to keep the orange side on the defensive. Despite the lion's share of play and some promising early signs of intent, the game was scoreless for two-thirds of the first half. On occasion, PDX would counter against the run of play but the fullbacks, playing high and tight on Snyder's direction, generally caught the strikers and forced them out to the side lines. Around the twenty-fifth minute or so the referee flagged Berg for improper handling of a back pass around the penalty spot and hearts raced as the squad rushed back to reform a hasty wall. PDX--cheeky monkeys!--opted to take the quick kick on the indirect and the resulting shot would have been good for three in the NFL but counted for nothing in real football. Having escaped unscathed, Rangers regrouped and punished the visitors in quick fashion. Burden was finding success repeatedly along the left wing, making long throws and killer crosses into the box since the start of the match. At approximately minute 25 he made another cross from his corner position and, whizzing the ball past the sweeper, found King camped on the six. A trap with the right and a smash on the left saw the keeper breached and the home side elated. Radigan ended the half with an expertly executed left footer to the inside side netting; I believe he was fed from Foubister off the right on a through run, but I could be incorrect. [Editor's note: As with all match summaries, some details may not be exactly correct, but humor me. I'm Irish.]

STOP ME IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

Being up with two goals in the bank at half-time was a familiar position for 'Gers but astute scholars of our game will know that doesn't always ensure success. (Hey, Soccer Gods! I'm talking to you!) Determined not to let history repeat itself, the home side continued to focus on the positives at the break. "Look at them," someone said. "They are looking tired. Keep running and subbing." Effective subbing had helped to give us the lead and would continue to our advantage in the second half. EVERYBODY on the pitch ran for every ball and scrapped for every tackle. Lemos in particular seemed to be literally everywhere, not limited by his left back role. If the average footballer runs 8600 meters or so per game, Dario must have topped 10,000. Burden, Muralt, Sibanda and Vogel worked well to control the center. McConnachie, Foubister and Ingersoll had success turning their wings and getting outside shots and feeds to the middle. Defensively, Calkins and Hayden were solid; Dan chased down the occasional offsides trap refugee and David cleared several PDX passes out of danger. Also of note (since everybody is getting mad props in this summary) was Snyder's expert slide tackle around the seventieth minute. An orange striker broke the middle and Jim ran him down, catching him just inside our box and sweeping the ball out to the far line with a perfect tackle. Any earlier and he would have missed. Any later and he would swept the legs for a penalty.

"I DON'T EVER WANT THIS GAME TO END!"

Rangers kept steady pressure on from the second half kick-off. An early cross to the middle found Ingersoll go up and over his marker (not bad for the shortest guy on the squad!) for a rare headed shot that arced over the crossbar. King got his brace ten minutes into the half when Lemos (I think) pressured their midfield, stole it, and delivered it to Burden...who assisted again with a pass to the near post. King ran on to it, stuck his foot out, and the net rippled for a third time. The hat trick was completed fifteen minutes from time off a throw-in when McConnachie spotted King loosely marked in the middle. He launched it over the defender, King obliged the lonely, bouncing ball and gave it a home in the left side of the net. Foubister overheard the visitors ask how much time was remaining.

"Fifteen minutes," the match official answered.

"Jesus, don't you mean five?"

Fifteen minutes later the final whistle blew and 'Gers picked up their first three points of the campaign. The match was fairly even-tempered--although I think PDX did call one of us a "jerk-ass", but whatever--and our single fan, Sarah, was treated to a fine performance. It is hoped that the momentum will carry through to next Wednesday's tough rematch against Bridgetown FC.

Cheers!

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

FC77 Rangers 2 vs. No Subs 3

(Scorers: Radigan 10', Muralt 18')

May 7, 2008

In the match summary from last week, the manager was lamenting the cruel streak of bad luck Rangers have suffered the first three weeks of the spring season:

"Having been drubbed the first week, losing at the death the second week, and now coming up short in an abbreviated match the third week, the Rangers are cautiously hopeful our fortunes will turn for the better...because barring a giant meteor striking us all dead next week, I am not sure what new misfortunes the Soccer Gods might have in store for us."

While a flaming chunk of space debris didn't crash into the pitch, I apparently should have added "going up 2-0 early in glorious fashion against a strong team only to lose in part due to the manager's own goal" to the list of potential misfortunes, because that's exactly what happened Wednesday night at the Montessori Earth School when Rangers played new O-30 Third Division squad No Subs. Damn you, Soccer Gods! Damn you to hell!

'Gers fielded a comfortable complement of fifteen players for the inaugural match against No Subs, fullback Dave Hayden's former team. With regular goalkeeper out due to work commitments, Dan Calkins graciously pulled on the gloves and gave a spirited performance between the sticks. Fronting Dan on the back line were Hayden, Brian Bauman, Jim Snyder, and Jim Seaton. Gary Foubister, Aaron Radigan, Matt Muralt and Mark Vogel started in the center of the 4-4-2 and Ron King and James McConnanchie championed the strike force. Subs Sean Ingersoll, Ron Burden, Dario Lemos, and Bullie Sibanda filled out the roster for the match, which, it should be noted, started right on time. Ahem.

Having heard that No Subs tied Bridgetown FC 1-1, the home side was a little concerned about the former second division team. Their first run down the left side, ending in a missed shot over the left post, suggested it could be a long evening...but 'Gers showed their own kind of spunk and took the ball back down the pitch with intent. McConnachie's bold challenge on their keeper's clearance caught him squarely in the chest and ricocheted back toward their goal. While the goalie collected the ball shy of the goal line, it was a good opportunity and seemed to invigorate the team. A few series later, not even ten minutes into the match, Foubister set up Radigan for the opener from near the top of their box and Rangers were in the lead for the first time all spring. The dream start was extended when, around the eighteenth minute, McConnachie played his "classic video game corner kick" short to Muralt who blasted a nervy shot from wide on the left. The sharp angle drive smacked against the inside of the far post and snapped back into the net for a 2-0 lead. No Subs were stunned, Rangers were ecstatic, and the tempo was definitely on our side. The fullbacks took control of the No Subs attacks, Calkins had no reservations about leaving his line to scoop up the ball, and the midfielders chipped, hacked and battled for control of the center of the pitch. A third goal looked promising when Sibanda was expertly played through the middle and, alone with the keeper at the eighteen yard line, saw his left footed chip bang off the upper right corner of the crossbar. No Subs regrouped and scored around the 35th minute on a corner kick; a long ball across the goal mouth was met with a bouncing header to the far post, but the half time mood was still good under Bauman's canopy tent and luck seemed to be on our side.

Stupid Soccer Gods. No Subs played better possession the second half and started making more organized runs along the flanks. The defense played good "safety first" ball and Calkins cleared two through passes from well outside the box. Foubister took a shot from a good thirty-five yards out that looked promising against their short keeper, but was ultimately grabbed shy of the woodwork. Around the hour mark, a No Sub passing sequence on the right side broke their striker in towards our box and his cross actually turned out to be a pretty good shot. Calkins bolted right and made a spectacular save--fully horizontal, a good three feet off the ground, real Wallbangers photo type of pose. I remember this quite clearly because as right fullback, I was sprinting toward the goal to keep the other striker at bay. Seeing Dan punch away the shot, I thought: "Is it going in? Nice save! HOLY SHIT THE BALL IS FLYING TOWARDS MY FACE!" Sadly, tragically it smacked off me and landed in the back of our net. I let out one of my trademarked roaring profanities in utter defeat. Hint: It rhymes with duck! You know it's unfortunate when the opposing striker pats you on the shoulder and says without the least bit of sarcasm, "Dude, that's unlucky."

Our squad is totally cool and, although still semi-catatonic with rage, I distinctly remember nothing but encouragement and support as we lined up for the kick-off. Play continued in much the same spirit as before. No Subs collected their third with about fifteen minutes to play from another right side run. 'Gers looked to equalize late in the match by putting ten people in potential scoring positions on a corner kick with Calkins poised on their side of the center line, but the last few shots went just wide. Everybody played a solid match and we definitely stepped up our game from the previous week. Bauman even got a little tear from the opposition, methinks.

However, in the end, the match can best be summed up in the words of the opposition: "Dude, that's unlucky."

Kendall Ingersoll and Stella Bauman ("Be Aware!") were Junior Rangers for the Match Day Four while Becki Ingersoll was official match photographer. Next week we play NE Portland Chiropractic and I suppose I should come up with some rousing spinal care pun, but I just don't have it in me yet.

Cheers!

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

FC77 Rangers 0 vs. Azzuri 1

April 30, 2008

The Azzuri: A Haiku
Twenty minutes late
Plenty of complaints and gripes
No time left to tie

Allow me to present a brief overview of the recent Rangers-Azzuri match history to put this contest into proper perspective:

2005 Rangers lose 0-10...or something like that. I actually missed that match. I had tickets to "The Lion King". Sue me.

2006 Rangers tie the Azzuri 0-0. Two 'Gers goals are disallowed for "offsides". A belligerent Azzuri player is red carded for dissent and unsportsmanlike conduct, tries to pick a fight with Jim Snyder, refuses to leave the field, then begs the referee not to report it after the match.

2007 Rangers tie the Azzuri 1-1. Brian Bauman steamrolls his way straight up the middle and scores in the first three minutes. Using borrowed players because they couldn't field a full strength squad, the Italians score a controversial second half goal, much to chagrin of the 'Gers. Angry, profanity-laden emails follow.

2008 The Yellow and Black meets the Blues back at the Montessori Earth School for a 6:30 p.m. kick-off under unstable skies on 30 April. What, the opposing team doesn't have their player cards or roster? Maybe we'll kick-off at 6:35. No? How 'bout 6:40? Still no cards? Maybe 6:45. Still not here. Sometime around 6:50 the Azzuri player finally shows up with the paperwork to officially play the match and sometime just shy of 7:00 referee Ben Warren blows the whistle to start the match. According to regulations, Warren explains, the teams must play equal halves and due to the late start and pressing threat of darkness, the match proceeds with 30-35 minute halves.

Play started optimistically enough for the home side. Playing the typical 4-4-2, James McConnachie and Gary Foubister started up front; Thom Fahrbach, Aaron Radigan, Matt Muralt, and Jim Snyder controlled the midfield; Jim Seaton, Brian Bauman, Dan Calkins, and David Hayden anchored the back line with Steve Berg in the box. A quick goal looked promising as the Ranger's first shot clattered off the crossbar followed shortly by Muralt's 40 yard strike from the right side which forced the Azzuri keeper to leap and deflect it...again off the woodwork. Boasting an almost full roster with ample substitutes including Dario Lemos, Bullie Sibanda, Mark Vogel, Sean Ingersoll, Ron Burden, and Ron King, 'Gers pressed the match and kept possession in the attacking half for long stretches of the half. Lemos' near post shot forced their keeper to get dirty for the save and Azzuri counter-attacks were pushed to the outside and cleared out of play. Berg made a spectacular one-on-one save against a breaking striker and pounced on several loose balls in his area. The fullbacks worked well to coordinate their offsides trap, as evidenced by the loud, frequent and occasionally histrionic cries of outrage from the opposition. The first forty-five minute half--oops, my bad, thirty-ish minute half--passed with the score deadlocked at nil.

The second half, quickly started to maximize field daylight, saw much of the same play as the in the first. Rangers liked to move the ball down the wings and the Azzuri worked shorter passes up the middle with occasional runs straight at the fullbacks. It was one of those runs that saw the Blues strike three-quarters of the way through the period and go up 1-0. Unwilling to give up, 'Gers fought on and demonstrated some notable urgency with our soon-to-be trademarked crunching tackles, shoulder challenges, and spirited on-field talk. The referee cautioned Fahrbach with a yellow card about five minutes from time for a tackle on the keeper deep in the box as he tried to find the equalizer. Despite our best efforts, Warren's final whistle came all too soon (literally and figuratively). To have lost by a goal after a full ninety minutes would have been unfortunate; to lose by a goal after only an hour or so seems just plain bogus. It was with this thought that the manager changed up his standard post-match handshake chant from "Good game, good game, good game..." to "Good three-quarters of a game, Azzuri, maybe we'll play a full one next time..."

Kendall Ingersoll and Connor Foubister performed Junior Ranger duties for Match Day Three of the season and our side boasted a few spectators, including recovering player Kyle Gunsul and his dog. Having been drubbed the first week, losing at the death the second week, and now coming up short in an abbreviated match the third week, the Rangers are cautiously hopeful our fortunes will turn for the better...because barring a giant meteor striking us all dead next week, I am not sure what new misfortunes the Soccer Gods might have in store for us.

Next match:
FC77 Rangers vs. No Subs
Montessori Earth School
7:00 p.m. K.O. ... not 7:25. I'll let it go now.

Sean-Scott Ingersoll