FC77 Rangers 1:7 No Subs

FC77 Rangers 1 - 7 No Subs

(Ingersoll 10')

The schizophrenic fortunes of the Yellow and Black continued on Match Day Six of the GPSD O-30 Rose City Division as the eagerly awaited replay with No Subs yielded an eight goal contest...sadly, tragically with all but one of them in the opposition's favor. The 12:00 kick-off on Mother's Day Sunday undoubtedly had something to do with the outcome, as Rangers fielded only eleven players to start and managed a substitute within the first ten minutes. No Subs, contrary to their team name, fielded a comfortable roster of fourteen...suggesting that next season they shall just be known as Subs. Regardless, the result was one of the squad's worst defeats in recent history.

Starting XI:

Calkins, goalkeeper

Fahrbach - DeBar - Vogel - Pullen, fullbacks

Ingersoll - Gaffney - Muralt - Sibanda, midfielders

Foubister - McConnachie, forwards

Reserves: Burden

The match started brightly enough as Rangers, defending the Powell Street End, showed real intent with some sideline runs and outside play. Just ten minutes into the match, Ingersoll received a short pass, held up play as the forwards surged forward and then uncharacteristically started a mazy, winding dribble from just inside the No Subs half of the field, cut into the center past a pair of midfielders, and then split another pair of backs who fully expected him to pass to Foubister or McConnachie. Finding himself deep inside the box with just the keeper to beat, Ingersoll also uncharacteristically got his knee over the ball and shotgunned a blast from about ten yards out into the net. Normally at this point in the summary, I describe how the ball flies over the crossbar and I scream profanities in frustration. Not this time. Because this was the first time I've scored for Rangers in approximately 1 year, 6 months, 19 days, 2 hours and about 50 minutes, you will be forced to sit through an interview of myself with myself on my awesome goal.

Sean: Tell FC77Rangers.blogspot.com about your goal. Were you especially motivated to score on Mother's Day?

Sean: Absolutely. My mommy hates No Subs. Her last conversation with me yesterday was, "Sean, I hate No Subs. Get your knee over the ball and put one in for me. If you really love me you'll score a goal."

Sean: Right. So break it down for us. What happened?

Sean: I got a sweet little pass, maybe from Thom or Brian, near the far sideline inside their half. Since my first cross (meant for Gary) went short and got nabbed, I decided to hold it up, take a better look, and not give away possession so cheaply.

Sean: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. What happened next?

Sean: The fullback, Mel, kind of dropped off and I got a little space, so I figured I'd dribble forward and maybe blast a cross into the box.

Sean: Ah, you are a sly little devil. But you didn't, did you?

Sean: Nobody came to challenge, so I just kept going forward.

Sean: Truly, you are the Little Engine That Could.

Sean: Um, sure. Anyway, I think someone finally started to come in from the right, so I cut laterally across the field and started looking for the forwards. Mostly I just kept going and when the backs didn't come sliding in, I saw an opening in the middle and kept running toward the goal.

Sean: May I just add that you were magnificent?

Sean: Er, um, thanks. Before I knew it, it was just the keeper and the frame and even though I could hear people screaming for the pass, the goal was right there and I thought maybe I should have a pop.

Sean: You know how we like it.

Sean: Excuse me?

Sean: Nothing. What were you thinking when you put the ball onto your right foot before the shot?

Sean: Please don't let me [bleep] this up.

Sean: (Laughs). You are saucy, Mr. Ingersoll. So very saucy.

Sean: The ball went flying past him and as soon as I saw it hit the net I just freaked out. The last time I scored was like, October 21st of 2007, so this was huge for me. I just started screaming "YEEEEAAAHHHH!" in front of the goal and pumping my fists all wild.

Sean: (Nodding approvingly.)

Sean: I may have bro-hugged someone on the way back for the re-kick. Anyway, it was really great and I was so proud I didn't get all Tourette's Syndrome and start screaming profanities, which I'm apt to do, because my daughter was watching.

Sean: Seanny does like the dirty talk.

Sean: What was that? Say again?

Sean: (Still nodding.)

Sean: Seriously, you're kind of creeping me out.

Sean: Do you ever rehearse any goal celebrations? Or do you just go with the moment?

Sean: Since this is my sixth goal with the club since 2005, I tend to not have a lot of opportunities for goal celebrations.

Sean: But...?

Sean: But I may have one called the "Penitent Episcopalian" that involves sliding on my knees while crossing myself.

Sean: Why didn't you do that today?

Sean: Um, the ground was too dry.

Sean: Thanks for taking the time to speak with FC77Rangers.blogspot.com. Can I add in conclusion that you are a handsome man?

Sean: Uh...

Sean: Do you think I'm an attractive fellow?

Sean: (Storms out in disgust)

No Subs rallied and then systematically started putting goals in of their own at regular intervals for the remainder of the half. Down 1-4 after 45 minutes, Rangers pushed forward in numbers for a quick equalizer and, as you might imagine, this left our backs vulnerable to a counter. No Subs were pretty efficient on dead ball plays--I think there were two goals from corners and the last free kick goal was my fault because the 6'-7" guy I was marking--"Conan"--was literally a foot taller than me and there was no way I was going to get up over him, so...sorry. Pullen, DeBar, Fahrbach, Vogel and McConnachie all made notable runs to the back to stop No Subs breakaways. Burden, Muralt and Gaffney were typically aggressive and industrious in the midfield. Foubister was unlucky to not score late in the match on a breakaway and the team welcomed Sibanda back for his second match of the season.

Match notes...Attendance was two: Kendall and Connor...Next week is the seventh match and any player who has not previously played for Rangers this season is ineligible after that date for the last three matches...That's it.

Next Match:

FC77 Rangers v. Wolfhounds FC

Sunday, May 17th - 12:00 noon KO

Montessori Earth School