FC77 Rangers 3 : 9 Salem Kickers

FC77 Rangers 3 - 9 Salem Kickers

(Muralt 45'+, Switzer 55', King 60')

Well...shit.

Apologies for the uncharacteristic lateness and crudeness of this match summary. Seanny was not feeling the muse this week after the worst Rangers loss since he took over management of the team. Plus, I got a sweet new 50" Panasonic flat screen television and Blu-Ray last weekend and several times when I thought to myself, "Sean"--because I do refer to myself in the third person when I talk to myself--"you should really put up a characteristically awesome match summary. Sure, the result didn't go your way, but 'Gers' global audience in Scotland and the Netherlands is dying to know how Match Day One went for 'The Greatest Over Thirty Recreational Football Club in the Greater Portland, Oregon Area'." Then I would look over at the Panasonic proudly mounted on the wall and go, "Or, I could watch 'Saving Private Ryan' again." And inevitably, Adrian Carpazo would get shot by a sniper. In glorious digital sound. This was especially satisfying since a certain linesman I had suspended two years ago for being a dick finally resurfaced at the Montessori Earth School and since he looked like Vin Diesel, well...

I'm sorry. What was I saying? Oh, right, soccer.

First off, the pitch was glorious. Straight lines. Lush grass, recently mowed. Pretty day, all sunny and crisp without smelling like Tillamook after a flood or being infested with swarms of stinging insects. A big Ranger shout-out to David Porter and Mike Calder for the awesome field prep.

OK, second good thing. New guys! 'Gers welcomed Roy Payne and welcomed back Jay Johnson, who suited up for the first time since 2005 if I'm not mistaken.

Oh,wait, I'm supposed to put down the starting line-up. My bad. It's been a while.

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Payne - Calkins - Seaton, fullbacks

Snyder, holding midfielder

Burden - Muralt - Johnson - Ingersoll, midfielders

Foubister - King, strikers

Reserves: Pullen, Switzer

Right, where was I...? Oh yeah, we had three killer goals. Muralt dropped a lovely thirty-five yarder over the keeper and under the crossbar to get the scoring started in the dying moments of the first half. This rallied the team before half-time and with a tactical adjustment (from a 3-1-4-2 to a 3-1-5-1-ish) we looked pretty sharp. Switzer muscled himself onto the scorer's sheet with a hold-up ball that he turned and fired into the Division Street End goal. Then King scored ten minutes later after Ingersoll took a sweet lay-off from Burden, turned the Kickers' right fullback even as his shirt was being pulled the entire time, then flashed a right footed pass to the striker for his inaugural goal of Fall 2010. Fine scores, all.

Silverman made about twenty saves on the day and the defense was always scrapping for balls and to disrupt Salem's play. The score line is harsh, but the opposition was definitely on their game and looked as strong as they did last fall. Perhaps this year will be a "rebuilding" year for us. Perhaps many of my match summaries this season will segue into my new plasma television and how awesome "Avatar" looks.

Or maybe--just maybe--we write off Match Day One as a really bad day at the office, get our shit together, and kick some ass like we know we can for a greater part of the autumn?

I know which one I'd rather write about.

Next Match:

FC77 Rangers v. C.C.F.C.

Sunday, 19 September, 2010

Montessori Earth School

10:00 a.m. KO

Please remember to celebrate Seannukkah responsibly.