FC77 Rangers 4:2 KMA

FC77 Rangers 4 - 2 KMA

(Radigan 3', 75' and 85'; Burden 25')

Match Day 4 of the GPSD O-30 Second Division found familiar foes FC77 Rangers and KMA back at it on the Montessori Earth School pitch and the result was surprisingly similar to their inaugural meeting last fall: A competitive, feisty battle with ample substitutes for both sides; a tied scoreline at the halftime whistle; and the Yellow and Black shutting out the visitors in the second forty-five to earn the victory with center midfielder Aaron Radigan earning many goals in the process.

Methinks that "KMA" doesn't mean "Kiss My Ass" so much as it means "Kick My Ass", eh?

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Pullen - Bauman - Calkins, fullbacks

Gaffney, holding midfielder

Freiwat - Radigan - Muralt - Ingersoll, midfielders

Switzer - McConnachie, strikers

Reserves: Bennouri, Burden, Fahrbach, Foubister, King and Sibanda

Exhibit "A": Newly censored logo. Note that a ball now replaces

the previous silhouette of a pair of buttocks. Perhaps "KMA"

now means "Kiss My Adidas (Telstar)"?

KMA opened the match defending the Division Street End in front of a very modest crowd of maybe eight fans. Taking the pre-match team talk to score "early and often" directly to heart, Radigan opened the scoring approximately three minutes after the kick-off with a swivel and shot from the top left corner of the KMA box that hooked across the face of goal and splashed down in the upper right corner, surprising most everybody. Play resumed at a fairly even pace. 'Gers tried to work the ball to the outside and KMA found a few promising runs through the middle. A couple of unlucky deflections and bounces allowed the visitors to get a run behind our back line and after fifteen minutes, it was tied. Honestly, I don't remember anything about it but fortunately, Burden and McConnachie teamed up just ten minutes later with an infinitely better play that after some consultation with the Dubious Goals Committee and several emails/texts, I now do remember.

Burden, having subbed on for Ingersoll on the left wing, launched a ball at the KMA keeper that either had some wicked spin and/or some pepper to it because the netminder bobbled the collection just inside the west post. From the sidelines, it looked like the ball dribbled off his hands and into the goal; the goalie's body posture looked alternately frustrated and then deflated as the ball rolled back. McConnachie wanted to make sure that there was no question of whether the ball had fully crossed the goal line and absolutely tattooed it into the back of the net to get 'Gers back in front.

Gradually, typical game smack talk started to escalate. A couple of unfavorable calls from referee "Antonio"(?) began to frustrate KMA. The visitors equalized again around the 35th minute when a wild scrum in front of Silverman gave birth to another pinballing sequence of flailing boots and wild kicks. The FC77 midfield turned to blast the ball clear of the mixer when it accidentally caught a KMA player square in the chest and bounced back into our net--no grace, no style, but still a goal.

'Gers took the kick-off and started back at the whites, yielding a similar melee in front of their goal mouth. A shot launched just inside the right upright appeared for all intents and purposes to strike a fullback's hand and bounce out over the endline. Yellow and Black players emphatically demanded a penalty but Antonio was not in the mood to make the tough call and instead pointed to the corner...which, curiously, KMA seemed very glad to concede and get play to continue. Very glad. Hmm... When the first forty-five minutes ended, the score was 2-2 and 'Gers left the field with all three points still up for grabs...

And grab it they did! The match temperature went from a low simmer to a scalding boil as jaws jabbered, the referee progressively lost control of the match, and a series of baffling calls aggravated both sides--but mostly KMA. Claiming uncalled fouls by Calkins and King, the visitors continued to get themselves worked up as the clock ticked away. Bauman got tired of the running commentary and, upon offering his own unique rejoinder to the conversation, soon found several players "up in my grill". Antonio did attempt to snuff out the tension, but his warning sounded a lot like Charlie Brown's parents (think trombone-like sounds going "mwah mwah mwahmwahhhh") and, unable to understand what had just been said, both sides threw up their hands and resumed play. Muralt also grew weary of some of the talk and, around the 80th minute, somehow managed to get a yellow card AND a free kick in the same play after exchanging pleasantries with a KMA midfielder. See Exhibit "B" below.

Exhibit "B": "Who ate me lucky charms, laddy?"

An angry midfielder threatens Muralt...and then steals his blue diamonds!

Silverman, returning from...umm..."injured reserve"...made a few clutch blocks and pawed away one lobbing shot that seemed destined for the goal. Gaffney, Pullen, Fahrbach, and Calkins all worked well to neutralize the KMA sorties and played smart "safety first" defense as the situations merited. Bennouri, Freiwat, Sibanda and the rest of the midfielders also did their defensive duties faithfully, helping clear the ball out of a few troublesome situations. However, it was a slick passing sequence ten minutes earlier that capped the game for the home side. A Ranger stampede through the middle of the Powell Street End slots the ball to Radigan outside the "D", who spies his former North Salem High School teammate ("Pride of the Vikings, baby!") busting down the right side. He threads a pass behind the last defender, allowing Ingersoll to run on to it, turn him just before the end line, and dribble into the box. With the goal looming large before him (and don't think for a second I didn't want to shoot!) the manager slices a pass back across the front of goal. Burden--sliding in from his opposite winger position--expertly dummied the shot, undoubtedly icing the keeper who certainly expected a first time shot. With the keeper's feet firmly rooted to the ground, Radigan finished the move with a smash of his size twelve boot and the ball was in the lower right corner of the net. 3-2, Rangers with fifteen minutes to go.

Exhibit "C": Radigan, Sibanda and King bust through the KMA midfield.

"Hey! Let's go pay the keeper a visit!"

The fourth goal was also nicely composed. McConnachie took a pass from the midfield and hurtled upfield, spying Foubister making a run to the top of the KMA box with a single defender to beat. His pass allowed Foubister to draw the fullback with him, freeing Radigan to make an unopposed run at the sticks. Gary spun and laid out a tidy little lateral pass, offering Radigan a one v. one with keeper. A touch and then a shot to the upper right corner killed the game off once and for all and earned Radigan the hat trick with five minutes and some change change remaining.

'Gers kept their shape and smartly controlled the last few minutes. Freiwat found Ingersoll making another run along the right sideline and dished a through pass out to him, allowing him to go straight to...the corner flag. Ah, yes, the corner flag: Last Bastion of the Winning Side Who Doesn't Want to Risk a Counter Attack. Seanny dribbled straight to the pennant and braced himself for the eventual dry-humping that would inevitably result as the left fullback scrapped for possession.

Seanny was, sadly, not disappointed. I will not include an exhibit of this.

With one last chance to take the ball to the corner in the 93rd, the manager snarkily opted to head that way and then turned to a fire a cross at Switzer in hopes of bagging a fifth and really pissing everybody off, but his pass was too wide and too zesty and the 4-2 scoreline was destined to stand.

With the final whistle came subdued and reserved "good games", some grumbling, and another unintelligible commentary about game control from the match official. While still 134% more satisfying than last week's forfeit win over Hawks, 'Gers left the field still feeling like they hadn't fully found fifth gear...but licking their chops at the fabled Blue Monk Derby coming up in just two weeks.

Match notes...Connor Foubister and Britney Muralt were the Junior Rangers for the match, even if they didn't know it...The "sticky" Nike T-90 from two weeks ago went over the fence around the twentieth minute but magically reappeared on the pitch before half-time...Match photo by Gary Foubister...

Next match:

FC77 Rangers v. Wolfhounds FC

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Montessori Earth School

4:00 p.m. KO

"The Blue Monk Derby: Just like the Old Firm,

but only played twice a year!"