The Final Word on Spring 2010

From an email sent Friday, July 2, 2010 at 5:50 a.m. from Manager Sean to FC77 Rangers:

Gentlemen,

As a follow-up to my email(s) yesterday regarding whether or not Rangers qualified for the championship match, I was in contact with GPSD via email for most of the morning to determine our post-season status. There is a section in the Rules of Competition that talks about forfeits and their effect on final standings. I’m sure many/most of you have looked this up already. It reads:

“Wins by forfeit. Teams will not receive credit for any "goals scored" in a forfeit win. No team may break a tie in the standings if they have a better goal differential caused by a regulation win with "goals scored" against an opponent, while the team they are tied with was required to take a forfeit win against the same opponent, with no credit for "goals scored".”

I read this a couple of different ways, so I emailed Terry and asked him to give me a ruling as to what this means. Here is his response:

“Sean I am sorry your team did not make the final it was very close between the three teams. I want you to know that the rules state that if teams are tied at the end of the season and a team won by forfeit and received no goal differential then the other teas/teams receive no goal differential. I did go over the scores and this is what I came up with.

Game 3220 FC Hut 4 – 2 Hawks

Game 3254 FC Hut 1 – 0 FC PFA Less 3 gives them a +13 goal differential

Game 3205 Lagers 2 – 0 Hawks

Game 3233 Lagers 3 – 0 FC PFA Less 5 gives them a +14 goal differential

I know if you could have won these two games 3 – 0 then you would have had 6 more goals and you would have had a +18.”

Unfortunately, his calculations matched the numbers I also determined. Rangers final goal differential at the end of the season was +12. I am very sorry, guys, but we missed the championship by a single goal.

Hut and Lagers do get promoted to the O-30 First. I believe FC Rogue and Goodfoot FC get the drop. I know I’m supposed to end on a big “Rah! Rah! Rah!” note, but I’m too bummed right now and I just don’t have it in me. Again, I’m really sorry. You guys totally deserved the post-season for the fourth time in five seasons.

Sean

Rangers...Fall season kicks off in just over two months.

We have something to prove.

We have some hardware to reclaim.

And we have some serious ass to kick.

See you in September.

FC77 Rangers 1:2 Salem Kickers

FC77 RANGERS 1 - 2 SALEM KICKERS

GPSD O-30 Third Rose City

Division Championship

(Ingersoll 65')

"OK, guys, I don't have any more practices at PSU. I don't have any more motivational YouTube clips or awesome quotes from Bob ("I didn't join this team to play in a championship. I joined this team to win a championship!") All I got is you guys and even though it is colder than a witch's tit out here right now, there is no place else I would rather be than here on this field playing soccer with you guys. Something something overuse of the word 'awesome'. Something something gratuitous profanity. Everybody in this entire arena knows that the Kickers are in the wrong division. Let's make their last match in this division one they would rather forget. Rangers on three. One! Two! Three! RANGERS!!"

--Manager Sean Ingersoll's pre-match team talk. Mostly.

The final match for the Fall 2009 O-30 Third Rose City division was truly the epic clash befitting the occasion. FC77 Rangers and the Salem Kickers saved the most exciting, most physical, most out and out awesome 90 minutes for last and although the final score line didn't favor 'Gers, everything was left on the pitch and every single guy in a yellow jersey was able to walk away with their head held high. We may not have won, but we sure as hell did good.

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Pullen - Bauman - Calkins, fullbacks

Snyder, holding midfielder

Burden - Radigan - Muralt - Ingersoll, midfielders

Switzer - Bennouri, strikers

Reserves: Fahrbach, Gaffney, King, McConnachie, Seaton, Vogel (injured)

With a crowd of approximately 40 gathered in the arctic conditions at PCC Rock Creek Field #1--temperatures and a howling gale put the wind chill factor down around 10-15 degrees--Yellow and Black met Blue for the third time this season. Having practiced the previous two Sundays at PSU's turf Community Recreation Field, 'Gers hoped to avoid the mistakes of last fall when the unfamiliar playing surface wreaked havoc on our game and cost us early goals. Motivated to get underway and thus stave off frostbite and hypothermia, Rangers went all out from the opening whistle. Both sides traded possession early on, with the Kickers often looking to pass through their middle and 'Gers going to the wings. Bennouri found some early success down the left touchline and his dribbling would prove to be a thorn in the Kicker's side all afternoon. Bauman and Snyder kept the back line well-organized and working together, parrying the occasional Kicker thrust and directing Pullen and Calkins to intercept outside passes and dribbles that ventured too far forward. Radigan was called for a pair of early fouls as he reinforced his dominance on the Salem center but stayed out of the referee's book. Things started to look promising when Muralt's dish to Ingersoll allowed him to break down the right side. A fortuitous bounce off Kicker center back Greg Keyte allowed the skipper to spin free and surge forward, but his final touch back to the middle for Bennouri and/or Switzer was off and was only rewarded with a corner kick, not a shot on goal.

Then, against the run of play, a fluke: A Kicker move back to the inside from the wing gets their forward open for just a moment and his shot from outside the box jerks wildly in the frigid wind and just beats Silverman under the crossbar. It was either brilliant or lucky and given the visible wind dynamics as it arched over the top, I'm inclined to say lucky. Down 0-1 after fifteen minutes, 'Gers collected themselves and went back to work, calm and nonplussed. Burden, Radigan and Switzer had some good interplay on the left and sent Bennouri behind the defense on another mazy dribble. Juking his marker, he sprinted to the end line and sent a beautiful low pass across the face of the goal. Ingersoll similarly got free of his man and stretched forward to slot it home...but his leading foot tripped on the turf and what should have been an easy tap-in went horribly awry and the ball flashed wide of the goal. The bench "oohhhed!" in disappointment and Ingersoll used angry, terrible words to himself as he sprawled out flat in the goal mouth.

Chances continued to come FC77's way and keep hope alive. King got free on another Route One run and also found the turf not to be his friend. Radigan and McConnachie both got pops at goal but were stymied by the keeper, the wind, or perhaps a little of both. The cold started to be a factor, too, with Pullen and Seaton subbing out because of tight hamstrings. Gaffney and Fahrbach both proved to be able substitutes and 'Gers continued to hold their shape until...

...then, again against the run of play, a goal that was not a fluke: Salem found a delay left wing runner streaking clear far side and the service to him was divine. He hit the ball first time, on the volley I think, and put in a second goal around the 30th minute. It was a well-taken shot and not one to be begrudged, so it was with an hour to go that Rangers were down 0-2.

That was, however, the last goal they would score this season.

Silverman made two (maybe three) stops to finish the half and was reasonably unbothered, save one shot that hit the side netting. The centers all adopted an unspoken of "bodying up" on the Kicker middies and disrupting their distribution. Salem complained about the physical play, but the cards stayed in the pocket and allowed 'Gers to continue to work the outsides. FC77 flashed another shot just left of the uprights and Ingersoll's cutback outside their box earned him a blast that would have been good in rugby, but high, wide and handsome in this type of footy.

With the half-time whistle, the team came off determined and unbroken. "We are still in this game!" Bauman yelled as the team huddled together to fend off hypothermia. Rangers would get the wind at our backs for the second half. There was no sense of defeat, no hopelessness in the gazes of the eighteen guys standing around the bench. Just 45 more minutes to represent, as the kids like to say.

Represent we did.

Muralt and Radigan went back to work breaking up the plays in the middle, either by intercepting the passes or by hacking down the player. Bennouri went back to work dribbling down the east wing. One such run beat at least three Kickers en route to the far touchline, and his wormer-burner cross through the penalty spot was just beyond both Muralt and Radigan's runs into the box; literally, if either of those guys had been an inch taller, they would have netted--it was that close. [Note: One Salem supporter was so impressed by Bennouri's run he came down to our side to compliment the bench on the play. Umm...thank you?] The Kicker keeper found the wind-assisted shots to be more frequent but he was still equal to the task. A quick counter looked threatening for FC77 until Bauman picked the striker's pocket and turned the play around, much to his opposite number's chagrin. Play moved end to end for much of the first fifteen minutes of the half until 'Gers finally got the little bit of luck they needed.

Ingersoll subbed on for Burden around the 60th minute and not five minutes later, got a beautiful ball sent out toward the right corner by Radigan. The skipper raced past the defender and struck the ball first time, approximately 20-25 yards from the goal mouth, maybe ten yards from the corner flag. In the interest of full disclosure, it was a cross. It was always supposed to be a cross. I saw two yellow shirts plugging the middle and I thought if I could get it to drop in the mixer, maybe we would get a lucky bounce and a shot. The wind, however, had other ideas and drifted the arching blast closer and closer toward the net. The keeper dropped back and lunged to deflect it, but it careened into the upper far corner and splashed into the net. The Ranger bench, led by Vogel and supporter Gary Foubister, all erupted into mad cheers. Ingersoll, not one to hold back, also exploded into his typical quasi-hysterical, semi-intelligible vocalizations. "YEAAAAHAHHAHAHAAHAH!!!!" As the team turned to walk back to the center circle, the manager only had one thought in mind: We need another goal and we need to get it now. "GET THE F**KING BALL!! GET THE F**KING BALL!!" he roared, much to the chagrin of every parent with a child under fifteen in a two mile radius.

The ball was duly collected and the rekick taken fairly quickly. 'Gers literally threw everything but the kitchen sink at the Kickers in hopes of an equalizer and produced 25 of the most exciting soccer minutes this year. The midfield was up and back. The strikers went balls to the wall toward their goal every time the ball went long. The defenders hacked and slashed their way at every foray in our half of the field. Burden, Ingersoll, Switzer, McConnachie, King, Radigan, and Bennouri all took shots at the goal. 'Gers won multiple corner kicks and fed about a dozen crosses back into the goal mouth. When the Kickers surged forward to counterattack, Gaffney, Calkins, Bauman, and Snyder all threw themselves at the ball. One Kicker strike blasted off the woodwork. A second foray saw Salem get their striker free...only to be stuffed by Silverman, who flew off his line in anticipation. After the impact, however, the ball ricocheted off the crashing bodies and continue to bounce wildly towards our open goal. With the Salem bench screaming "Ohhhh!" in hopes of a third score, Bauman frantically chased the errant ball down and slide-cleared it away just a foot or so from the goal line...not a fun thing on turf in fifteen degree weather.

The second goal was just not to be, however. All the corners and passing yielded chances, but not the clear-cut look at goal we craved. A bouncing shot in the 89th that caused the Salem keeper to lunge low to his left just wouldn't find the net. A corner in the 90th went short and got punted down field. With Ingersoll asking the referee every three minutes how much time was left and Salem in "kick it away defensive mode", it was with frostbitten hearts that the final whistle brought the match to a close.

We may not have gotten our trophy back--yet--but we certainly regained our pride and put up the toughest fight Salem saw all autumn. Considering the only time the Kickers won by less than three goals this fall was when a squad forfeited against them, I view our 1-2 defeat as a tribute to our teamwork, heart, hustle and--yes, say it with me--all around awesomeness. We played great football. Against any other team in our division, that effort would have yielded a massive drubbing. (Remember that when we play No Subs in the spring, boys.) We have a fantastic team. He have great players at every position and a bunch of unsung heroes who play wherever they are asked, whenever they are asked. When I said at the start of the match "...there is no place else I would rather be than here on this field playing soccer with you guys..." I wasn't just talking about a match. I was talking about all of them. You guys are awesome and thanks for paying your fees, stepping up to help if I ask, and generally not being a dick. I try to make Sundays on the pitch kind of fun and I believe we are doing a pretty good job.

Enough sappy crap. We have one team function left. We must party. I'll email you all after the first of the new year, but keep Saturday, January 16th open.

Have a great holiday season and a Happy New Year, Rangers!

Match notes...Andre DeBar and Bullie Sibanda were unavailable to play because of injury...Kendall Ingersoll was the Junior Ranger for the afternoon...Ingersoll lost the coin toss, preserving his streak of five consecutive coin toss losses when he is asked to "call it in the air"...Junior Rangers Ethan and Rory Snyder brought a Rangers banner and were rewarded with delicious holiday cookies...Photos by Becki Ingersoll...Silverman provided a fun new counterpart to Vogel's famous water jug; let's just say that "every king deserves a crown" and leave it at that...

Division Championship Match Scheduled

GPSD Over-30 Third Rose City

Division Championship Match

Salem Kickers vs. FC77 Rangers

(10 - 0 - 0 ) (6 - 3 - 1)

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Portland Community College

Rock Creek Campus - Field #1

1:30 p.m. Kick-Off

FC77 Fans: Wear Yellow and/or Black to support your local club!

Any kids who make a Rangers banner for the match will get a special prize!

Rangers: Please be at the pitch by 1:00 p.m.at the latest

Fall 2008 Division Championship Match

FC77 Rangers 3, Controlled Chaos 6

Scorer:  (Ntini 25', 35', 70')

So close and yet so far...

Under rose and violet hued skies, the curtain finally fell on the GPSD Fall 2008 O-30 Third Division Rose City season.  The dream match-up between top sides FC77 Rangers and Controlled Chaos yielded a nine goal thriller...unfortunately, with the balance of the goals to the opposition.  'Gers fifteen game league unbeaten streak came to an end and provided the only blemish on an otherwise superb season.

Controlled Chaos came out firing on all cylinders and quite simply beat us.  No excuses.  No lame "woulda, shoulda, couldas."  Full credit to the opposition for their efforts, play, and sportsmanship.  The match was officiated by no less than a full complement of four--familiar standby referee Mohammed, two linemen, and even a fourth official.  Malvern Ntini demonstrated why he was the Rose City O-30 Third scoring leader with another hat trick, which included a late second half free kick that was a thing of beauty.  Taken from outside the left side of the box, about twenty yards from goal, the shot whipped and dipped and beat the keeper to the far right corner.  Chaos went up early with a ferocious three goal barrage (all within seven or eight minutes), but 'Gers rallied back with two of our own to only be down 2-3 at the half.  An early strike to start the second half compounded the challenge and a subsequent score line of 3-5 still proved to be too much to pull back.

The squad was heartened by the return of Bullie Sibanda, who, although unable to play due to his broken wrist and subsequent surgery, braved the evening cold to cheer us on.  We had a good supporter's corp of approximately two dozen and their enthusiastic voice was appreciated.  

Starting XI:  

Calkins (goalkeeper)

Seaton, Bauman, Snyder, Pullen (fullbacks)

Foubister, Muralt, Radigan, Burden (midfielders)

Ntini, McConnachie (forwards)

Reserves:

Ingersoll, Vogel, Fahrbach, King

Rangers would like to extend a special thank you to all of our families, kids, Junior Rangers, and friends of the club who cheered us on this season.  We know with busy family schedules, inclement weather, work, and travel that it is not easy to put aside four hours a week for football.  Thank you.  This squad is awesome for many reasons, none the least of which is the supporters.  

2009 will be an interesting year for 'Gers.  We will undoubtedly be promoted, and should we get bumped to the O-30 Third Portland division, we'll have the opportunity to rekindle some familiar rivalries with clubs like Tekvision, Code Blue, Rose and Thistle and other teams that used to beat the living s**t out of us.  Methinks we might have some surprises for them.  I watched their division championship yesterday and those guys are looking a little long in tooth.  Plus, our wives are way hotter.  Hubba hubba!

If we get bumped to the O-30 Second, well...whatever.  We'll take our lumps like men.

We have one more team function for this season.  We must party.  It won't be the victory celebration we had hoped for, but we earned a chance to celebrate the successes of 2008: One championship.  Two top two finishes.  The defeat of the Azzurri.  Thrice!  An awesome website.  One referee suspended in disgrace.  A fifteen league (and seventeen all competitions) undefeated streak.  The top division scorer.  The most goals and point totals in 'Gers history.  Junior Ranger shirts.  A special guest appearance by Marlina the Ranger Cheerleader jumping out of a soccer-ball shaped cake*. The fact that I skipped my office Christmas party to have rubber field pieces embedded in my right knee.  Live match feeds courtesy of Twitter. An international fan base.  Those are good reasons to gather together, eat a little, drink a little/lot, and bid fond farewell to 2008.

* Yeah, right.

Rangers 2008 Post-Season Party

Saturday, 13 December 

3:00 p.m. - whenever  

18096 NW Cambray Street

Beaverton, Oregon  97006

Please RSVP to Sean (you know how) and bring a holiday-themed dish to share

 

FC77 Rangers Division Championship Match

The GPSD 0-30, Third Division Rose City Division Championship Match will be played Saturday, December 6th, 2008 at Delta Strasser Field.  Kick-off is at 4:00 p.m. First place finisher 'Gers will be playing runners-up Controlled Chaos under the lights and on the turf.  All friends, fans, or members of the club are invited to come out and support the Yellow and Black for one last glorious match...and encouraged to wear yellow, if you got it.

"Gimme an 'R'!  Gimme an 'A'!  Gimme an 'N'!..."

(Please don't make Marlina sad by not supporting your local club.)

FC77 Rangers 5 vs. Bridgetown FC 3

GPSD Over-30, Third Division Championship Match
(Scorers: Radigan 2’; Ntini 10’, 60’, 82’; Muralt 70’)

It was quite simply one of the most exciting championship football matches ever played in recent history.

May 26, 1999: Manchester United – FC Bayern Munich, Champion’s League Final, Camp Nou, Barcelona.

May 13, 2006: Liverpool-West Ham, FA Cup Final, Millenium Stadium, Cardiff, Wales.

July 9, 2008: FC77 Rangers vs. FC Bridgetown, GPSD O-30 Third Division Rose City Final, Delta Park #8, Portland Oregon.

Oh yeah. It was that good.

‘Gers finished their improbable Cinderella run from the basement to the pinnacle of the O-30 Third Rose City Division with a stunning 5-3 victory over previously indestructible FC Bridgetown and in the process, hoisted the trophy for the first time in ten-twelve years. After an amazing 4-0 run to end the season (5-0-1 if you include all the friendly matches against No Subs), the Yellow and Black found themselves on the pitch one last time with a rival that had run roughshod over most of the division. Bridgetown hadn’t lost all season and had only given up 12 goals in ten games while amassing a staggering +18 goal differential. Going in, the squad hoped to keep the match close and perhaps improve upon the 4-1 loss from the replay. Statistically, there was nothing to suggest that FC77 even had a chance, but then again, Goliath should have crushed David and the USSR should have out-skated the US in 1980.

I’m actually running out of metaphors to illustrate the magnitude of the match.

Despite being without Gary Foubister (work), James McConnachie (travel), and Ron King (suspension), ‘Gers fielded a comfortable complement of fifteen, marking the first season in many, many years when the team didn’t play short all campaign long. The starting XI included Berg in his final appearance as goalkeeper; Pullen, Bauman, Calkins, and Seaton at fullback; Snyder, Radigan, Muralt, and Lemos as midfielders (although Dario did roam pretty freely for most of the first half); and Ntini and Burden as forwards. Ingersoll, Fahrbach, Vogel, and Sibanda were the reserves for a 7:00 p.m. kick-off that included a record two dozen supporters, including representatives from FC77 squads Old Nicks, Newcastle and PBR as well as Mojos. Kyle Gunsul, still recovering from multiple surgeries, also came to give voice to the squad as did several family members. Ingersoll’s promised pre-match pep talk was surprisingly brief given the fact that he had been working on it for five straight days: “Guys, it’s been a great run and whatever happens here is just icing on the cake. Let’s have fun and whatever happens, well, what the hell.”

“What the hell” became “WHAT THE HELL?!” in a matter of just two minutes as ‘Gers intercepted the Bridgetown kick-off, fed it down the field along the near side and found Radigan charging through the middle of the box. Deftly taking the pass on his right and then sharply juking left, Radigan killed the play with a shot to the left side of the goal. The snap of the net stunned the home side and brought the FC77 bench to hoarse delight. AJ, FC77 PBRmy field marshal and most vocal fan, let roar with a cry of “GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!” that lasted, in all honesty, a solid 45 seconds. Seriously. (You try it—not as easy as it seems.) Having breached Bridgetown’s defenses in just under 120 seconds, ‘Gers quickly began to think that just playing for a respectable loss was not necessarily the best possible result. The lead doubled around minute ten when Burden, sliding wide left, took a pass and dropped one of his typical tasty crosses into the box. The cross became a shot when the keeper bit on it and, bobbling the catch, allowed Ntini to kick the ball back into the goal. Bridgetown protested vociferously but the referee would have none of it and denied their appeals with a pantomimed juggling motion that proved he knew the keeper did not have possession. Rangers 2, Bridgetown 0 after ten minutes. At that point, the unspoken thought started to spread along the sidelines: “Holy bleep! We could actually win this thing!”

Bridgetown proved they would not go quietly into that good night and the next fifteen minutes revealed the squad we had seen before. Several attacks pushed ‘Gers back onto the defensive as the league leaders started to funnel their attacks through their potent striker Josh. Beating the trap, he was denied a goal only by Berg’s quick movement off the line and subsequent clearance to the outside...and soon thereafter by a frantic scramble as Calkins, Bauman and Pullen threw themselves in rapid succession at the shot. Realizing that 90% of their offense was in their striker, Lemos started channeling his roving play toward him and frequently played him man on man. Around the twenty-fifth minute Bridgetown strung together a series of passes, released Josh on a footrace, and he scored. Not a single Ranger hung their heads as they lined up for the restart. Muralt, Sibanda, Ingersoll and even Seaton all took shots at the Bridgetown goal from various distances but couldn’t yet find the third. Bridgetown responded and shuttled a short run along the far side, turning the midfielder and heading into the box. With the striker running along the end line, Berg started screaming: “Challenge him! Challenge him! Take him out!” Bauman obliged and wiped out everything in a six foot swath from the edge of the six yard box to the end line—all ball, a lot of player, and a hell of a tackle. ‘Gers cleaned up the corner kick and went into half up 2-1.

Various tactical and motivational methods were reviewed in the team huddle. Power bars were offered up, spectator support was received warmly, and the sides went back onto the clover pitch with only 45 minutes to settle it all. Mike Calder, FC77 Newcastle manager and former GPSD member, had brought a trophy, old and dusty, at Ingersoll’s request so on the off-chance the squad won, they had something to hoist and celebrate. Standing among the empty Gatorade bottles, unused kits and jerseys, the 36” tall trophy, for all its height, generated little comment. Perhaps nobody wanted to jinx the match. Perhaps everybody was so fixed on the match they didn’t notice it. Perhaps I’m reading way too much into this for the sake of dramatic literary transition from the first half to the second, but regardless, the dusty little soccer figurine at the top of the trophy was tantalizingly close, but perhaps 45 minutes too far.

(Not bad, eh? Eh?)

Both sides threw everything they had at each other right from the start. With Bauman and Pullen shouting directions from the back and keeping the defensive shape tight, Rangers attacked every ball in the air, on the ground, and at the player. Snyder executed more than a few textbook slide tackles and even took a cleat slash to the top of the nose. Pullen and Calkins played their markers hard and kept fighting for the ball even after they had been knocked down. Lemos dedicated his efforts to containing Josh 100% of the time and helped clog the middle. Honestly, every single player left everything they had on the pitch. Bridgetown strikers were taken down and out by one and two ‘Gers defenders at a time—sometimes simultaneously. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen two guys tackle a player at the same time...and then have a third defender sweep in and take the ball out. Radigan and Muralt owned the air in the middle. Vogel and Fahrbach made life miserable for the other team with persistent challenges, tackles, and clearances down their lines. Burden, playing striker, would frequently drop back and attack Bridgetown ball handlers from behind. Sibanda would change up the direction of play and release Ntini on dancing runs along the outside. Frustrated by their lack of containment, the opposition often resorted to pulling Ntini down. A free kick from one such foul (earning Bridgetown a caution) drifted left over the mixer and found Snyder, rushing forward from his wing back position, who headed the ball past the keeper—only to have the goal called off inexplicably for offside. Ntini was similarly robbed by the linesboy on at least two other occasions. Despite the team’s efforts, Bridgetown released Josh on another sprint to the goal (he really is fast) and he equalized. 2-2. From the sidelines, the dream scenario seemed to be slipping away, if just a bit. Fahrbach asked the manager if extra time would be played with a tie at the end of regulation.

“No, the ref said we’ll go to straight to penalty kicks.”
“Do you have shooters picked out?”
“Yeah. Maybe it won’t come to that.”

Just a few minutes later, almost as if on cue, Ntini broke through the Bridgetown line, the linesboy kept his flag down, and two cuts along the right gave him a clean look at goal. The keeper had no chance as the shot snapped past him. The crowd roared with delight again and the Yellow and Black reclaimed the lead...

...far too briefly. Rallying their own run, Bridgetown sent a midfielder wide to the corner and deposited a cross back into coverage. The bouncing ball found a non-Josh attacker who got a foot to it and slotted it low left. 3-3 in the 69th minute. Perhaps penalties would settle it after all...

...or perhaps not. Taking the kick-off, Muralt trapped the ball just inside the center line, maybe ten yards in from the side and launched the now legendary shot that effectively killed Bridgetown’s spirit. A kick that rivaled former Ranger Andre Debar’s 45 yard strike at Hillsboro Stadium boomed over the entire Bridgetown team and started dropping toward the goal. Was it a cross? Was it a shot? I believe Muralt even apologized as it started to drop from orbit. “Sorry, guys,” he said as the keeper continued to track it back...back...and then lunged up...only to have the ball, the beautiful gold and black match ball, crash into the net like a synthetic leather artillery shell and effectively explode any hope of another rally. As the bench screamed in almost girlish delight, Lemos ripped off his shirt and started the mad celebration around Muralt. I believe at that moment every Ranger on the field finally knew we were going to win. A goal such as this deserves a name, like “The Hand of God Goal”.

I shall christen it “Death From Above” because it killed off Bridgetown once and for all. And because “Matt Muralt’s Really Awesome Super Long Goal From Midfield” doesn’t sound half as cool.

Ntini collected his hat trick just eight minutes from time with another waltzing run through, around, and behind the defense after a delightful pass from the midfield. The squad locked down play for the remaining eight minutes. Josh had one more stabbing attack and got one on one with Berg, who, fittingly, made the last save of his Ranger career a highlight reel move by making himself big and then cutting back to his left to catch a near point blank shot that was blasted to the far corner. Josh slid to the ground and thumped the grass in frustration. A few more clearances, some furtive glances by the referee at his watch and then the three most beautiful sounds the team has ever heard...a trio of whistle blasts to end the match.

“Do you believe in miracles? YES!”

The squad shook hands with the opposition, Lemos tore off his jersey again, and somebody collected the match ball. Calder came onto the field with the trophy. “Where do you want to do this? In front of goal or right here?” “Here” was a section of grass not too far from where Muralt had launched “Death From Above.”

“Here” would work.

The squad gathered around. Ingersoll clutched the dirty statue, almost half as tall as him. Family members and club players formed a small group in front of the beaming team. Shutters snapped and flashes erupted. Calder and David Porter raised their cameras as the Rangers closed ranks and started patting the golden figurine topper. “We should bite it, like Wimbledon,” somebody cracked. Calder asked if we were ready for the shot. “Ready?”

The manager smiled and posed the trophy boldly in front of team:

“RANGERS!”
FC77 RANGERS
GPSD Spring 2008
Over-30 Third Division Rose City
DIVISION CHAMPIONS

I hope you have enjoyed this season as much as I have. We were a true “rags to riches”/Cinderella/”Rudy”/Insert Improbable Sports Cliché Here story...going from 0-4 to 5-5 to beating the undefeated leader of our division. When the season started, I had three goals:

1. Make sure we field at least eleven players every match. Check.
2. Try and win half of our matches. Check.
3. Beat the Azzurri. Check and mate.

More than that, I hope everybody had a good time and enjoyed themselves. I try really hard to make sure we don’t have any jerks on the team—you know my motto by now—and I look at the way we get along in victory and defeat and, compared to some of the other squads we played, I think we are doing all right. By just getting to the championship, we are approximately three and a half years ahead of schedule according to my master five year plan. With our win comes promotion into O-30 Division 2, which will be tough. Probably really tough. But you know, it’s all football, so it’s all good. Think of it as a chance to get even with Rose and Thistle. Whatever.

Best of luck to Steve Berg and Dario Lemos, who are leaving us for the distant lands of Las Vegas and Canada, respectively. You will be sorely missed and I’ll leave a standing spot on the club for both of you should you decide to return.

Rangers, you guys are the best. Thanks for all of your support, paying your player fees in a timely manner, offering good suggestions and keeping all the awesome post-match email strings resoundingly positive. Some guys define or see themselves in terms of their work. Not me. I totally see myself in terms of how I play.

And Seanny’s got the best teammates around!

Enough of the heartfelt mush. Take care of yourselves...

...fall season starts in a month and a half.

Cheers,

Sean