FC77 Rangers 2:1 Hawks

FC77 Rangers 2 - 1 Hawks

(Muralt 50', 58')

In a curious twist of scheduling fate, the GPSD O30-Third spring league season decided not to schedule any matches on Easter weekend, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day weekend and, mysteriously enough, the weekend of June 25th and June 26th, which I will dub "Didn't Renew our Field Permits with the City of Portland Weekend"...but did decide to play matches on Independence Day Weekend. With so many players off celebrating freedom, liberty, and the right to purchase automobiles and mattresses at dramatically reduced prices, Manager Seanny found himself scrambling to assemble a skeleton crew of Ranger stalwarts to combat Hawks, our bugaboo rivals from the other side of the Columbia River. Forfeit: Not an Option. Rangers have never just rolled over and died in their entire illustrious multi-decade history and Sean wasn't going to be the first manager to fly the white flag, especially since a similar Hawks forfeiture last spring cost us goal differential and the chance to play for a championship. Many, many frantic emails, Facebook messages and passive-aggressive queries went out to secure a full-strength squad. As July 3rd dawned cool and gray, eleven brave men stepped forward to answer the call:

Do you know that there's still a chance for you?

'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light

And let it shine

Just own the night

Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby you're a firework!

[Queue fireworks and explosions shooting from Katy Perry's ample bosom.]

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Pullen - Bauman - DeBar - Payne, fullbacks

Siegel - Muralt - Calkins - Ingersoll, midfielders

Holstein - Fahrbach, strikers

Reserves: Reserves? Seriously, didn't you read the dramatic introduction?

A full side Rangers complement, including Andre DeBar and Glenn Siegel, assembled on the pitch and were greeted by a...a...not quite full-strength complement of gray-clad and graying Hawks. As the referee checked the rosters, it became clear that the Vancouver rivals would be...umm...compact and determined. You know what I mean. Don't make me say it. The Hawks captain originally considered forfeiting because of their determined compactness as one of their players had an expired card and was deemed not eligible to play, further reducing their squad. Ingersoll had a brilliant managerial idea.

"So, if we allow your one player to play with an expired card, Hawks will play a real match and not forfeit?"

"Yeah, we'll play," the Hawks captain said.

Liking the odds of the Ranger's eleven vs. Hawks not eleven, a pre-match conference was held with the official. Dramatic calls were made. Eventually, the referee hung up his phone and agreed to the arrangement, but with the caveat of thirty minute halves. Some looks of consternation flashed among 'Gers. Sixty minutes? That's it?

Ingersoll, recalling the non-match a year ago, flashed a steely look of snarky, vengeful malice: "We outnumber them by a lot. Let's pound the shit out of them." Bauman and Muralt nodded in approval.

"Works for us."

The referee started the match, Hawks kicked off, and four minutes later they sent a long hero ball over the top and scored. F**k!

Sucker punched by a dose of footballing karma and a really fast striker, 'Gers regrouped and attempted for the next twenty-six minutes to equalize. But we didn't. Maybe it was the long break since our last match. Maybe it was the new combination of players. Maybe it was the lack of goose crap on the pitch that somehow threw our bearings off, but whatever the reason...we were awful. We had difficulty connecting on passes, making traps, and finishing. Ingersoll sliced a shot so far right from the top of the box it may have struck a small child playing in the grandstand. Hawks' keeper, a strong stickminder despite his penchant for wearing a Flounders kit, scooped up the long balls ably and compensated for his right back's lack of mobility. Fahrbach and Holstein started getting chances but the net continued to elude us for the first half. The referee's whistle was a mournful clarion call to action.

"Their backs are old and slow. Drop some deep balls behind them."

"Spread them out and make them run."

"One of our midfielders needs to body up on their fast striker and ride him."

"Win the fifty-fifty ball! They are beating us to every ball!"

No panic was evident, but there was some concern. That proffered 1-0 forfeit was looking pretty sweet in hindsight now. Stupid hindsight. 'Gers took to the field and, although the passes were still spraying all over, they were connecting. Ingersoll and Siegel got more involved on the flanks and the back line was solid with Silverman only having to make two of his trademarked sliding saves. When their dribbling midfielder started getting mazy at the top of the box, our backs collapsed and forced him into a low percentage shot. DeBar, Payne and Pullen controlled the back line and allowed Bauman to roam forward.

With ten minutes to play and the situation looking dire, Calkins fired a long pass behind the Hawks right back and allowed Ingersoll to surge forward into the box. Their keeper covered his angles and Ingersoll laid off a gentle pass to the on-rushing Muralt, unmarked and lonely to the left of the penalty spot. He took his time, picked his shot, and finally beat the keeper with a clean strike through the middle. 1-1 was at least not an embarrassment, but did the Yellow and Black have another in the tank to make the result respectable?

Indeed they did. Two minutes from time, Bauman charged forward from his stopper position and split the two defenders, getting a good double dry-humping in the process. He blasted a shot from just inside the box and beat the keeper--

CLANG!

The striker rebounded aggressively off of the right post! It fell kindly to Muralt, who calmly collected and passed it into the net. The keeper, for all of his match day heroics, had no chance. There were a few cries for offsides, but it was a clean goal and 'Gers escaped with all three points, a modicum of self-respect, and a solid mid-table position with two (but likely only one) match remaining.

Thanks to Muralt's family and Stella Bauman for coming out to watch.

Match Summary:

HAWK, 4'

RAN-Muralt, 50'

RAN-Muralt, 58'

Halftime: RAN 0-1 HAWK

Discipline: None

Attendance: 9

Next Match:

KMA (5-1-2, 17 points) v FC77 Rangers (3-4-1, 10 points)

Sunday, 10 July, 2011

LaSalle High School

Portland, Oregon

6:00 p.m. KO

FC77 Rangers 6:1 Wolfhounds FC

FC77 Rangers 6 - 1 Wolfhounds FC

(Ingersoll [PK] 10', Holstein 15', Burden 20', Payne 30', King 40', Schutte 70')

Losing to Wolfhounds = NOT ACCEPTABLE

A four match losing streak. About half of the team unable to play due to injuries, scheduling conflicts, or drunken carousing in Vegas. (You know who you are. Ahem.) Stagnating at the bottom of the O30-3 division table, below friggin' Hawks of all teams. And now the return leg of the famous Blue Monk Derby against Wolfhounds FC. Desperate times called for...something. A ray of hope. A glimpse of glory. Perhaps a catchy mantra or slogan that could rally the remaining squad members around a common cause of purpose and drive.

Losing to Wolfhounds = NOT ACCEPTABLE

Some things a recreational adult soccer team can't control, like when your bosses make you work on Sunday or the team you coach is doing something teamy at the exact same time. I mean, you can't just not show up for a bunch of kids, right? (Well, technically, I have but my priorities are kind of whack.) But some things a team can control...like getting eleven players on the field. Blessed by last week's reschedule of the KMA match, Manager Seanny did some research and realized that having only played six matches, the team roster was not required by league rules to be closed as it is on the seventh match. As such, he was able to acquire some other on-loan players. Normally that means contacting FC77 Hibernian, the O40 squad, and hoping Brian Gaffney and several others would play another match...but Hibs were playing immediately after the famed Blue Monk Derby in another part of town, so that wouldn't work. Well, bollocks! Wait. Bollocks! FC77 Bollocks! A quick email was sent to Open 2nd Division side FC77 Bollocks manager Jeff Lucas and, happily, he and two or three other players offered to come "help a brother out". Ingersoll also chanced upon former Ranger Dan Holstein at the Timbers-Rapids match Saturday night and casually dropped the nugget he was looking for some players on Sunday. Holstein's eyes lit up and after a few moments, it was evident the Prodigal Son was comin' home to Daddy. And by Daddy I mean Rangers. Just want to clear that up.

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Pullen - Calkins - Payne, fullbacks

Travis from FC77 Bollocks, stopper

Burden - Nic from FC77 Bollocks - Jeff Lucas - Ingersoll, midfielders

Holstein - Youssef, strikers

Reserves (Oh, glorious reserves!):

King, Schutte, and Fahrbach

Not Available:

Abso-freakin'-lutely everybody else

Sometimes everything just clicks. Sometimes the weather is just right, the passes are going where they are supposed to, the ball falls to the right person in a 50/50 challenge, and the opposing goal looms really, REALLY large. Sunday, June 12th at 11:30 a.m. was just such a day. The new players from Bollocks and Holstein immediately found their groove and place in the starting scheme and everything just kind of went the way it used to--the way it is supposed to. Sharp runs down the outside flanks. Smart hold-up and control in the middle. Silverman bored out of his gourd from most of the first half. Ten minutes in, Burden made a run into the 'Hounds box and was adjudged by the match official to have been unfairly tackled by the opposing defensive line. As the 'Gers left winger dropped to the turf, the referee showed no hesitation pointing to the spot.

"You want to take it?" Ingersoll asked Burden.

Ron graciously shrugged it off. "Naw, go ahead."

And thus began a complex (ha!) psychological mind game of captain and keeper. See, Ingersoll and the 'Hounds keeper have played on the same winter team before and one afternoon, during a practice at PSU when Ingersoll was practicing his penalties, he distinctly told this very keeper this: "My coach in high school told me to always shoot at the exact same spot. Make it automatic so you never miss. Find your spot in the net and always shoot at it. I once took a PK in high school and put it so far over the bar that my coach made me take 25 PKs after every practice and I had to shoot at the same spot every time. Since I figured most keepers were right handed, I would shoot right (their left) hoping their left side would be weaker. So every practice my senior year, I took 25 PKs to my right." The 'Hounds keeper is a smart man and I was sure he remembered that conversation. So what would he do? What would I do?

Would he leap to the right because he knew I always shot right? Or would he leap left because he knew I knew he knew I always shot right? Or would he still go right because he knew I knew he knew I knew I shot right but he was trying to fake me out? Or would he go left because he knew I knew he knew I knew he knew I knew I shot right?

Ah...f**k it. I'll kick it down the middle and see what happens.

The keeper leaped right. The ball drilled into the net in the center of the goal. It wasn't Hasli's chip of Keller from the spot over the weekend, but they don't ask how, just how many. 1-0 'Gers.

Losing to Wolfhounds = NOT ACCEPTABLE

Thus began a veritable deluge of goals. Holstein opened his scoring account after only fifteen minutes with the team with a deft move from the left side, finding the net from well within the box and doubling up the score. With Travis subbing himself off due to a calf strain and ankle knock, 'Gers was still left with two subs available and took full advantage of the fresh legs. 2-0 became 3-0 when Burden himself connected also from the left side, sliding a worm-burner into the far corner of the goal and then, just a few minutes later, launching a 25 yard effort that went just wide. The comfortable lead loosened up the side to make smart runs and play with added confidence. Lucas made an unopposed run from his center midfield position to the right side of the box onto Nic's slicing pass behind the 'Hounds back line, but the field was just a little too short to support the move. Nic later played a looping ball from his central midfield position to the left side of the opposing goal, finding Roy Payne of all people making a sixty yard run deep into the box. Payne took full advantage of his rare foray forward and hit the ball with the outside of his foot, sending it across the goal mouth and into the netting for his first goal as a Ranger and the team's fourth of the day. (Not bad considering he was only 90 yards out of position! Ha!) Youssef was integral to several passing plays and King later scored from another left-sided series that beat the keeper near side, I recall, and all but killed any vestige of momentum, hope, or desire 'Hounds may have entertained.

Losing to Wolfhounds = Not Likely at This Point

The back line provided rock solid protection all half. Silverman was required to only make a few collections, mostly long through balls that were fast on the turf, and Calkins, Angry Mike, Fahrbach and Payne (when he wasn't in the other box!) all totally dominated the infrequent balls that got into our half. Lucas eventually dropped back into a stopper role and further denied any 'Hounds movement through the center. 'Hounds started finding more success in the second half as the sides got tired and the field was broken into the "attacking" and the "defending" halves of the team. Eventually, they played a long ball and got lucky, but Payne did make their striker pay for it with a decent tackle to get his pound of flesh for the goal. Schutte answered with a strike of his own--his first goal as a Ranger, too!--midway through the second half after anchoring the center midfield and working the right side enough to get close for a pop. 'Gers did an excellent job of making off-the-ball runs, exploiting space, and retaining possession. The game was wide open back-and-forth for the last twenty minutes, with Silverman making a few of his signature slide tackles to keep additional shots from not happening. I think someone even cracked wise, "Hey, Aaron, a few more tackles like that and we are going to make you a field player!" 'Hounds got a yellow card for dissent late in the match, but the overall mood was generally cordial and the final whistle welcomed by all, including the three Ranger supporters in attendance...Kendall Ingersoll, Toby Holstein, and Paddy's lady friend.

Losing to Wolfhounds = Not Gonna Happen

So another three points, no new cards, and a rousing Blue Monk Derby performance...that's a pretty good afternoon's work. Hey, here's a crazy thought...let's do it again next Saturday against CHA and get a new Streak of Awesomeness started? What do you think? Sound cool? Right on.

Match Summary:

RAN-Ingersoll (PK), 10'

RAN-Holstein, 15'

RAN-Burden, 20'

RAN-Payne, 30'

RAN-King, 40'

WOLF, 60'

RAN-Schutte, 70'

Halftime: RAN 5-0 WOLF

Discipline: WOLF (1) - Dissent

Attendance: 5-19, depending upon what time you counted

Next Match:

CHA CHA CHA 0/30 (0-5-1, 1 point) v FC77 Rangers (2-4-1, 7 points)

Saturday, 18 June, 2011

Gladstone High School

Gladstone, Oregon

8:00 a.m. KO

CHA has one point...from a tie with us.

They have only scored five goals this season...and three of those were against us.

I find this...NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Due to Technical Difficulties...

...match summaries for Match Days #3, #4, #5, and #6 were not available. Specifically, technically we did not win, ergo, I found it difficult to write about them. But for the sake of future generations--or perhaps aliens from another planet who may seek out our planet as a source of natural resources or slave labor--who may peruse the electronic archives to learn more about what people did for recreation in 2011--or try to learn more about the species they have abducted en masse and thrown to work in their tyrannium ore mines--I humbly offer this abbreviated synopsis of the ill-fated matches against Hawks, Symmetry, Controlled Chaos, and FC PFA. Actually, it is just scores, scorers, and dates...'cause that is all I remember. Well, that and smelling like seagull shit after one of the matches.

Whatevs.

Match Day Three

FC77 Rangers 1 : 3 Hawks

Seriously?! Friggin' Hawks?!

(Gullung)

Sunday, 17 April, 2011

Devereaux Field, Vancouver, Washington

Match Day Four

FC77 Rangers 2 : 4 Symmetry

(Gullung, Radigan)

Sunday, 1 May, 2011

Rob Strasser Field, Portland, Oregon

Match Day Five

FC77 Rangers 1 : 2 Controlled Chaos

(Radigan)

Rob Strasser Field, Portland, Oregon

Match Day Six

FC77 Rangers 1 : 4 FC PFA

(Radigan)

Rob Strasser Field, Portland, Oregon

Match Day Seven

FC77 Rangers v KMA

Rescheduled to July 10th

Hey, at least we didn't lose!

Match Day Two: Comeback Kids!

FC77 Rangers 3 : 3 CHA CHA CHA O-30

(Ingersoll 55' and 63'; Bennouri 65')

After getting sucker punched for three goals in the first twenty minutes, FC77 Rangers answered back with a wicked barrage of three goals of their own within ten minutes to earn a share of the points against CHA CHA CHA 0-30. The shortened match at Rob Strasser Field in Delta Park looked like a morning to forget for the Yellow and Black, but credit the renewed "never say die attitude" of the squad--and Manager Seanny's profanity-laced motivational tirade after the first goal--for an exciting six goal shoot-out.

Starting XI:

Silverman, Goalkeeper

Pullen - Calkins - Payne, fullbacks

Snyder, holding midfielder

Schutte - Bennouri - Muralt - Ingersoll, midfielders

Fahrbach - Youssef, strikers

Reserves: None

Not available: Bauman, Burden, Gullung, King, Radigan, Reyes, Seaton

Rangers welcomed back Thom "The Good Doctor" Fahrbach after a year long absence as well as Paddy Schutte, who had joined the squad in the winter. With the same defensive line available from last week, Fahrbach switched to the new role of second striker, filling in for King. Schutte took up Burden's position on the right wing, with Ingersoll playing on the left. The 3-1-4-2 formation was otherwise unchanged from last week's side that ran riot over Wolfhounds. With no substitutes on the bench and a shortened 80 minute match required due to the late start of the OPL match on the pitch prior to kick-off, 'Gers hoped to settle in to a comfortable rhythm of possession and wide play like last week. CHAx3 did not want to play that game, alas, and took advantage of a long ball down the near wing to break a striker through on a hero run after just ten minutes. Silverman rushed out to cut off the angles but the net was just too big and it was 0-1.

Still reeling from the unexpected strike, the orange-clad visitors found a second goal not long afterwards. A similarly uncreative solo run up the middle again found Silverman stranded. 0-2 after just a quarter hour. The match seemed over and done around the twentieth minute when Payne was adjudged to have committed a tackle from behind in the box, dropping the striker to his back. Match official Carlos showed no hesitation pointing to the spot and although Silverman correctly guessed the shot was going to be low and to his left, there was just enough power on it to send it past his outstretched gloves. 0-3 before most people had broken a drizzly sweat.

But as Manager Seanny mentioned to Calkins after the match: "I just never believed we were going to lose." And thus The Rally began. It began with little things--Snyder executing his 38th consecutive clinically perfect slide tackle to stop a run...a smart little series of three passes from Pullen to Bennouri to Schutte to circumvent a troublesome CHA midfielder when others would have blindly kicked it out of touch...a tidy lateral pass from Ingersoll to Muralt to get a shot from distance off and test the keeper...Fahrbach and Youssef working together to send Youssef through the line for another shot that required a CHA defender to wildly throw himself at the ball. The tempo started to pick up. 'Gers started winning 50-50 balls and working the side lines for a throw-in and then a corner kick. And then another corner kick. Payne would get forward as Calkins and Snyder smartly shifted left to cover him. There wasn't a single epic turning point in the first half that heralded The Rally, but as the bulk of play continued to hover around midfield, then creep into the orange half, and then more than occasionally end with a shot just off goal, it seemed to this reporter that the times they were a-changing.

With a halftime faster than Chuck Woolery could say "We'll be back in two and two!", 'Gers retook the pitch with a mission: Score quickly to turn the momentum. Despite having the wind in their faces, FC77 looked spry and wily from the outset, finding success on both sides. Snyder and the defensive crew managed to shut down the hero runs as well as expertly synchronize their line for at least three offsides calls. With the back nicely buttoned up, the midfielder stepped up and began to dominate the field of play, occasionally springing Bennouri through or finding the strikers in dangerous positions up high. Finally, after ten minutes, 'Gers got their reward. A forward surge by the middies and strikers saw Bennouri place a sweet, sexy ball behind their left back and into the hobbling run of Ingersoll, who was gimping his way forward with a bum right heel. Not wanting to waste such a gloriously set ball, he surged into the box and toe-punched it forward from fifteen yards out. The goalie flopped at it but couldn't keep it from finding the upper near post.

"YEAH!!! YEAH!!! GET THE [bleep!] BALL!!! LET'S GO RANGERS!!! GET THE [bleep!] BALL!!! C'MON!!!" Undoubtedly Wayne Rooney is smiling somewhere in Manchester as his motivational, profanity-laced tirade found its Yankee counterpart on the wet, chilly climes of North Portland. As the sides reset, Ingersoll barked: "LET'S GO RANGERS!!! PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR [bleep!] AND PLAY SOME SOCCER!!!"

Play some soccer they did! A robust challenge on the CHA strikers after kick-off found the ball back in the orange half, as did another challenge when it came back, and again. 'Gers swarmed the ball wherever it went and not eight minutes later, the black horde surged forward again. Muralt took the ball into the box and then served it on a silver platter to the still-gimpy Ingersoll, who crushed it with the inside of his bum foot from just outside the corner of the six and into the same section of net to make it 2-3. More semi-intelligible roars of histrionic man joy ensued as the side barked for a third...and Bennouri obliged not two minutes later with a fantastic looping shot from outside the box that beat the keeper to the upper left corner. 'Gers went wild screaming for a match winner. CHA got a little snippy as they tried to stem the wave of momentum overwhelmingly in FC77's favor with several little incidents involving Snyder, Muralt and Pullen, ultimately forcing the referee to stop play and ask Pullen: "Do you want to play or what?" To which Pullen, to his eternal credit, responded: "Yeah I want to play but I don't a [bleep!]ing broken leg either!" He's not called Angry Mike for nuthin'! Boo-yah!

Silverman finished up the second half substantially less busy than the first, reeling in a corner kick and some errant through balls. 'Gers had a few chances to find a fourth in the last four minutes--notably, Muralt's shot from outside the box and Ingersoll's half-volley of a corner flashing over and wide of the upper right corner-- but The Rally was predestined to stop with three glorious goals and not four. An exciting finish and another point in the table keep Rangers undoubtedly near the top as the side prepares to travel to Vancouver for the long, LONG awaited rematch with the team whose forfeit cost us a shot at the championship last spring.

Match Summary:

CHA-10'

CHA-15'

CHA-(PK), 20'

RAN-Ingersoll, 55'

RAN-Ingersoll, 63'

RAN-Bennouri, 65'

Halftime: RAN 0-3 CHA

Discipline: None

Attendance: 14-36, depending upon what time you counted

Next Match:

Hawks (0-1-0, 0 points) v FC77 Rangers (1-0-1, 4 points)

Sunday, 18 April, 2011

Devereaux Field

Vancouver, Washington

10:00 a.m. KO

'Gers Spay 'Hounds in Opener, 6-0

FC77 Rangers 6 : 0 Wolfhounds FC

(Muralt - PK 10'; Youssef 15'; Ingersoll 20';

Gullung 25'; King 28', 35')

FC77 Rangers announced their return to the GPSD O-30 Third Division with authority on Sunday, crushing rivals Wolfhounds FC 6-0 at Rob Strasser Field in North Portland. An almost flawless first half of soccer put the match out of reach twenty minutes after kick-off as the Yellow and Black cruised to their eleventh consecutive Blue Monk Derby victory. Cheered on by an enthusiastic trio of Junior Rangers, for the first time in approximately a year Rangers looked like Rangers...and it was friggin' dog-gone awesome.

Get it? Dog-gone awesome. Dog. Gone. Awesome. Get it? Of course you do.

Starting XI:

Silverman, goalkeeper

Pullen - Calkins - Payne, fullbacks

Snyder, holding midfielder

Ingersoll - Muralt - Bennouri - Burden, midfielders

Gullung - King, strikers

Reserves: Youssef

Not Available: Reyes, Nollenberger, Radigan, Fahrbach, Bauman, Seaton

The delayed 11:00 a.m. start, under the mindful auspices of match official Andy, showed promise for FC77 right from the beginning. Playing the outside wing game that earned them success in the previous spring campaign, 'Gers maintained an approximate 70% - 30% possession advantage over their opponents for the entire first half. Keeper Aaron Silverman touched the ball twice--both times for goal kicks. Muralt, Bennouri, and Snyder kept tight control of the center of the field, ably assisted by Pullen, Calkins and Payne, who all showed calm and collected control when the ball occasionally did reach their high line.

Charles Gullung's second foray into the box around the tenth minute found him tackled from behind and Referee Andy showed no hesitation pointing to the spot. Still recovering from...uh...man surgery, Gullung deferred the penalty kick to Muralt, who clinically dispatched the ball into the back left side of the net for an early lead. 'Gers doubled their advantage five minutes later when Bennouri--returning from a winter stint with FC77 PBR--turned the right back and flashed a quick box into the mixer. Ingersoll's shot ricocheted off the 'Hound central defense, eventually landing at Youssef's feet. The Ranger substitute blasted a shot from 9 yards out past 'Hound keeper's right side and with a joyous whoop, put the match all but out of reach.

But there was more. Oh, was there more. A smartly played arching ball from Bennouri just five minutes later dropped behind the Wolfhound left back and Capt. Seanny rushed wildly past to receive it. Smartly taking possession on the bounce about thirty yards out, the strikingly handsome manager turned into the box and, finding himself one on one with the keeper, blasted a shot back into the far corner for the third. This made Ingersoll very happy because he usually whiffs it and obligingly, he flashed the Ranger "Gangsta" sign to celebrate. This is important to note because in the thirtieth minute Bennouri turned the right back again and served up the most beautiful pass to a wide open Ingersoll on the six yard line. Instead of tapping it in, he ripped a shot over the bar in defiance of all known laws of geometry and physics. Crumpling to his knees in shame, Ingersoll will be mercilessly taunted until he scores again.

Gullung opened his Ranger account just a few minutes after that with a cheeky chip on the near post. Running onto another dangerous attack, Gullung (playing only for the second time with Rangers) beat the keeper and managed to pop the ball up and over the goalie. The ripple of the net signaled a fourth.

'Gers veteran King earned himself an inaugural brace in the next ten minutes. The first goal [King: Correct me if I'm wrong as you know I value my journalistic integrity] came off a thundering run through the middle and ended with a clinical finish to the near side, while his second in the 35th was a hustle play to rush onto the end of a widely slotted shot and put it back across the face of goal and into the net. Both goals were the result of some neat passing against a slightly blitzkreiged defense. Although he didn't get on the score sheet, Burden played his typical high energy game with several left-side runs and crisp passing with Bennouri and Muralt.

Ingersoll's half time team talk was essentially, "Let's give Silverman a clean sheet," and while 'Hounds continued to put up a spirited display and earn three or four shots in the second half, the Pullen-Calkins-Payne Axis held strong. Snyder stymied several closer-in attacking moves but was not required to execute his trademark flawless slide tackle. Silverman did slide out to meet a striker on a far run late in the match but the result was never in doubt.

Despite frequent attacks on the Wolfhounds net, a seventh goal was surprisingly not to be found. Youssef got a one on one midway through the half and was, like his captain, also unlucky to find the net. Not so easy after all, is it my friend? Eh? Gullung picked up a caution in the seventieth minute after exchanging words with the opposing keeper and...uh...aggressively giving him the ball. A steady flurry of shots and offside calls kept their defense busy until the final whistle and the six goal first half barrage proved to be the story of the afternoon.

"The boys looked sharp and we executed as well as we ever have in the first half," Ingersoll said after the match. "If we play like we did today every week, the results will go our way. And if we don't play like we that, I guess I start cutting people from the team. Ha! Just kidding. But not really."

Match Summary:

RAN-Muralt (PK), 10'

RAN-Youssef, 15'

RAN-Ingersoll, 20'

RAN-Gullung, 25'

RAN-King, 28'

RAN-King, 35'

Halftime: RAN 6-0 WFC

Discipline: RAN-Gullung (Yellow), 70'

Attendance: 10-ish. Kind of.

Next Match:

FC77 Rangers (1-0-0, 3 Points) v CHA CHA CHA 0-30 (0-1-0, 0 Points)

Sunday, 10 April, 2011

Rob Strasser Field, Delta Park East

Portland, Oregon

9:00 a.m. KO

Match Day One: FC77 Rangers v Wolfhounds

SPRING 2011

MATCH DAY ONE:

BLUE MONK DERBY

FC77 RANGERS (0-0-0, 0 Points)

V

Wolfhounds FC (0-0-0, 0 Points)

After coming off a much improved winter season--with the exception of the Kells FC match, of which we will never speak again--'Gers kicks off the new spring O-30 Third Division season in fine fashion...with a Blue Monk Derby!

Will you be there to watch the return to greatness for the Yellow and Black? Season ticket packages still available! The first 100 fans will get a special commemorative Rangers Collectors item!*

FC77 Rangers v Wolfhounds FC

Sunday, 3 April, 2011

Delta Strasser Field - Delta Park East

11:00 a.m. KO

* - Commemorative Rangers Collectors item availability subject to said Commemorative Rangers Collectors item actually being produced. Terms of the Commemorative Rangers Collectors items are subject to change without notice. Does not include dealer's registration fee. Do not use a Commemorative Rangers Collectors item if you currently taking beta-blockers such as Propranolol, Metoprolol or Carvedilol as this may cause a dangerous drop in blood pressure. Consult your doctor before accepting a Commemorative Rangers Collectors item. Commemorative Rangers Collectors items should be collected for entertainment and not investment purposes. Commemorative Rangers Collectors items may not be available in all states. North Carolina residents please include applicable sales tax. Commemorative Rangers Collectors items may be produced in a facility that process nuts and dairy products. Commemorative Rangers Collectors items may include small parts unsuitable for children under 3. Be careful! The Commemorative Rangers Collectors item you are about to enjoy may be hot! I am a non-attorney spokesperson.

Spring 2011 Fixture List Released!

The Spring 2011 GPSD Over-30 Third Division fixture list was released this evening and if this schedule 

doesn't make you tingly in your nether regions, you are a heartless cyborg sent from the future to destroy humanity!

Which is geek-cool in some respects, but not at all germane to this blog post.

Wolfhounds FC!  Symmetry!  Controlled Chaos!  CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA!  Oh, and look...

our favorite no-shows from last spring, the Hawks and FC PFA.  Oh my...I feel all funny...like when I climb a rope in gym class!

Will you be there?  With not a single Portland Timbers home match conflict, you [bleep!] well better 

be there!

Game # Date  Time  Home Team  Away Team  Field   
3302 Sun 04/03/2011 11:00 AM Wolfhounds  FC 77 Rangers  Delta Park Strasser  
3305 Sun 04/10/2011 9:00 AM FC 77 Rangers  CHA CHA CHA O/30 Delta Park Strasser  
3310 Sun 04/17/2011 10:00 AM FC 77 Rangers  Hawks   Devereaux Field  
3315 Sun 05/01/2011 1:00 PM Symmetry   FC 77 Rangers  Delta Park Strasser  
3320 Sun 05/15/2011 3:00 PM FC 77 Rangers  Controlled Chaos Delta Park Strasser  
3324 Sun 05/22/2011 3:00 PM FC PFA   FC 77 Rangers  Delta Park Strasser  
3327 Sun 06/05/2011 1:00 PM FC 77 Rangers  KMA    Delta Park Strasser  
3330 Sun 06/12/2011 11:00 AM Wolfhounds  FC 77 Rangers  Delta Park Strasser  
3333 Sun 06/26/2011 9:00 AM CHA CHA CHA O/30 FC 77 Rangers  Delta Park Strasser  
3338 Sun 07/03/2011 10:00 AM FC 77 Rangers  Hawks   Devereaux Field 

Spring 2010 - Goal Scorers

Spring 2009 Scorer's Table

Radigan, Aaron 9

McConnachie, James 5

Burden, Ron 4

Sibanda, Bullie 3

Ingersoll, Sean 1

King, Ron 1

Muralt, Matt 1

Switzer, Bob 1

Forfeit goals 2

Spring 2009 Goalkeeping - Clean Sheets

Silverman, Aaron 2 (FC Hut Old Boys, No Subs)*

* - Forfeit wins against Hawks and FC PFA denied Silverman the opportunity for two more shutouts