FC77 Rangers 2:2 CHA CHA CHA

FC77 Rangers 2 - 2 CHA CHA CHA

(Burden 60', King 85')

So You Think You Can Dance?

After being shell-shocked during a dreaded twenty-five minute period last week against the Green Dragons, as well as being down several team regulars due to various reasons, the Yellow and Black had every reason to be wary of Match Day Five's Montessori Earth School battle against division leaders--and lovers of capital letters--CHA CHA CHA. CHA CHA CHA looked untouchable with their perfect 4-0 start, crisp orange kits, and large print squad name...until they met a scrappy new dance partner named FC77 Rangers. [Note: For maximum match summary awesomeness, I need you as the blog reader to open a second window on your browser and click on this. Hit play and let it run in the background as you continue reading the rest of this post. Trust Manager Sean. It will be awesome.]

Starting XI:

DeBar, goalkeeper

Seaton - Bauman - Pullen - Fahrbach, fullbacks

Ingersoll - Gaffney - Snyder - Vogel, midfielders

Foubister - McConnachie

Reserves: Burden, King, Calkins, Kevin Ross - On loan player

Lacking a formal scouting report, not much was known about the opposition...until it was discovered that they were actually the team Formally Known as NE Portland Chiropractic. You remember them, don't you? If not--and I didn't either, because our last contest was the truly epic 6-3 come from behind win last June to put us into the Championship and I was in Florida at the time, waiting for a text with the result and then waiting for a follow-up text to clarify if "6-3" meant we won by three or lost by three, please click here to jog your memory. With 'Gers defending the Powell Street End to start and knowing that several players needed to leave at half-time, the strategy against the ten man side was to bum rush them hard and fast early. Unfortunately, they found substitutes within the first ten minutes and then found a goal somewhere around minute twenty on a breakaway charge that keeper DeBar did well to stop, but was unlucky that the bounce fell to the orange crush for the put-in. But you know...they weren't that great. Nobody on our side of the field panicked, and we put together more than a few forays of our own. Their outside backs were especially vulnerable to runs, allowing Ingersoll, Burden, and Vogel to provide service into the middle or try to find Foubister and King for sideline distribution.

The familiar back line, goaded on by Bauman and nicely organized by Pullen, Seaton, Calkins, and Fahrbach in various iterations, was joined by former Blue Monk stopper (and honorary Ranger due to his previous stints with our indoor squad, FC Black Cat) Kevin Ross. Ross ably filled in and even got himself a pop on goal around the 35th minute. With Foubister and King getting looks at the frame, the run of play and possession felt like it was nudging in our favor, but FC77 played with urgency...kind of like a squirrel trying to get a nut...to move our butts...

[Note: If you have not opened up the other window like I insisted, this last sentence will make absolutely no sense. And seem kind of lame.]

CHA's keeper was very strong and made some solid saves to keep it 0-1, but as the warm May sun started to warm up the pitch, tempers also started to rise as the match referee Tom Miller's decision became increasingly sporadic, unclear, and, in the case of any offside decision, just plain non-existent. When 'Gers was awarded a free kick on the edge of the box in added extra time for the first half, McConnachie stepped up and requested the requisite ten yards. Miller walked off a distance that approximated maybe six yards and, when asked to measure it again, refused, we all just assumed he was using the metric system. McConnachie then took a screamer beauty of a dead ball kick, curling it over the wall and just nicking the upper right corner. Unlucky, to be sure, but it was a definite statement of intent.

Is that dope enough? Indeed!

Gaffney and Calkins put in their usual 110% in the center of the pitch before other obligations pulled them away at half-time, but the remaining thirteen were still optimistic and eager for another scrap in the second 45.

And scrap we did.

Rangers decided to turn back the clock to 2007 and play our familiar smash-mouth, go-to-ground, God Bless the orthopedic surgeon style of football. The wet grass seemed to demand it. Obligingly, the Yellow and Black then began an all-out assault on the CHA goal and every single person in front of it. CHA began to plead for fouls that were not fouls. This seemed to upset their shape and allowed Rangers an opening. Burden, making runs all over the pitch from his outside right position, found the equalizer after he received a tidy lateral pass from twenty-five yards out, worked his way forward to just inside the box, and then very purposefully took aim at the near post and slotted a beauty of shot. It sliced inside the upright and, catching just a little frame, bounced across the line and into the net. The resulting roar was equal parts joy and relief.

Unfortunately, the 1-1 tie was short-lived when CHA striker "Zee" took the keeper's punt and made a solo hero run at our goal. Minute 70: 2-1. With time starting to grow short, there was only one thing to do with a team named CHA CHA CHA:

Pause. Take a breath, go for yours on my command!

Everybody dance now!

More tackles. More mid-air challenges and pushes. As the referee continued to let control of the match slip away, Rangers got a throw-in deep in CHA territory with five minutes remaining. McConnachie again stepped up and this time channeled his inner Rory Delap, hurtling a screamer of a toss into the box, catching King surging forward. King's header was a thing o' beauty to the right side of the net. CHA's keeper, steady all afternoon, had no chance. Rangers had one more chance in added extra time to go for a kill shot, again with a throw-in from roughly the same position. Bauman raced in and the resulting collision for the header ruffled some of CHA's feathers, who then retaliated with some pushing and an Eric Cantona-esque kung-fu kick on Bauman...that the referee claimed he didn't see.

Dramatic re-enactment of the CHA CHA CHA fullback

attempting to kung-fu kick Bauman...who blocked the kick

with a nearby old lady.

King, who had subbed off and was working his way back to our bench, took umbrage at the lameness of a karate kick and came back on the field to, um, peacefully and non-violently resolve this conflict using mutually supportive mediation. Actually, he was looking for some ass to kick but unfortunately got yellow carded. The match ended shortly thereafter, a 2-2 draw a fair result, but leaving no doubt whatsoever who really wins the "new rival" poll question from last week.

Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha (X2)

Match notes...Attendance was approximately seven, with two for our side and five for CHA...Junior Rangers Ethan and Rory Snyder proudly represented the squad for the afternoon...Absolutely nothing having to do with swine flu was reported during the course of the match...The tie was CHA's first dropped points all season...Due to local media blackout restrictions, no photographs are available from the match...

Next Match:

FC77 Rangers v. No Subs - Replay

Sunday, May 10 - 12:00 noon KO

Montessori Earth School

Yes, this is Mother's Day...and what better way to honor your mother than by

exacting sweet, sweet revenge on those No Subs motherfu--[deleted]

NE Portland Chiropractic 3 vs. FC77 Rangers 6

(Scorers: Muralt (2), McConnachie (2), Ntini, King)

June 18, 2008

Tale of Two Halves

It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. In good spirits, the Rangers took the field against PDX Chiropractic having taken the first match rather easily. Minus Sean and Gary, the Rangers fielded only 12 players while PDX had a full compliment of 16, including a few new faces that proved to be better then what was expected. A cheer even went up when the Referee arrived to signify a match would be played and counted (unlike last week).

The Rangers started strong early, pressing PDX's keeper several times before the ball made it past mid-field for PDX. Unfortunately, that's when the game changed and PDX started to send runners at long balls fired over the top. The first few were denied, once by a diving save by Steve to his right, but the pressure continued and a 10 yard strike got through for the first goal of the game. Again PDX used the long ball to runners that set up another goal when keeper Steve came out to the 18 yard line only to let one slip low passed him. Even a sliding stab by Jim couldn't prevent the goal, only change it to the owned variety. The luck would not change as PDX scored again on a long run from mid-field that beat the best efforts of Steve to reduce the angle around 15 yards out. Seconds later the half-time whistle pronounced the worst half of Ranger soccer all season.

Serious consideration was given to cracking into Steve's and Mike's homebrew during the half-time break, but Malvern led the cry for an all out effort to attack. So, begins the greatest display of Ranger scoring on record.

Only 2 minutes into the second half and after a couple of early shots on goal, Malvern was tripped in the PDX penalty box. Matt stepped up and drilled the penalty kick, low and hard into the left corner (keepers hate those). The second Ranger goal came in the 49th minute, with a drive by James (I think). Bam, now we have a game. The Ranger's controlled the mid-field, consistently winning the 50/50 balls and moving through the center against the PDX weakness, until after several shots misfired, Ron picked one off from close range. Tied 3-3, the game had changed in only 15 minutes and PDX looked to get back the lead. This time the Rangers defense had all of the answers, as only 2 runs at goal produced a shot and Steve was out to deny the effort. Mark, Mike, Jim and Dan worked the ball away from trouble and utilizing the lines moved any danger away from goal.

The back breaker was soon to follow as Matt struck again. The goal was a clinic, as only a half dozen touches were required from keeper to Aaron, to Malvern, to Matt. Just like that, PDX was done. Goals from Malvern, then James sealed the win for FC77 Rangers, and full goal differential was achieved. Final score, 6-3 good guys. Then we drank beer!

Steve

FC77 Rangers 4 vs. NE Portland Chiropractic 0

(Scorers: King 30', 55', 75', Radigan 45'+1')
May 14, 2008

IT'S GOOD TO BE KING (AND PRETTY SWEET TO BE RADIGAN, TOO)

Quite simply, everything came together exactly like it should.

After four consecutive weeks of heartache and despair, Rangers put together a total football match and played their best game in the last three years, winning 4-0 against NE Portland Chiropractic. Ron King bagged the first 'Gers hat trick since spring 2006. Aaron Radigan added to his season goal count with a clinically dispatched shot that no keeper could have stopped. Steve Berg earned his first clean sheet of the season in fine style, going mano a mano with a lone striker on at least two occasions (maybe three) and robbing them blind. The makeshift back line, thrown together due to the absences of three of our regular defenders, stepped up and played their asses off and the midfield was up and back for the full ninety minutes. Rangers owned the passing game, the fifty-fifty balls in the air, the midfield, and the flanks. Everybody gave 100% and when it was all over, the grins on the sidelines barely told the whole story.

"I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP, MR. DEMILLE."

Gary Foubister set up a digital video camera to record the match (see video highlights below) and the Yellow and Black put on quite a show. We lined up in our usual 4-4-2. Berg minded the sticks, Sean Ingersoll and David Hayden played the outside backs, and Mark Vogel and Jim Snyder commandeered the center. Foubister, Radigan, Matt Muralt and Ron Burden took up the midfield positions and James McConnachie and King played up front. Super subs Dario Lemos, Bullie Sibanda, and Dan Calkins--outfitted prior to match time with new Puma boots courtesy of the local Fred Meyer--gave the squad good depth and needed reserves in the warm 72 degree evening air. NE PDX Chiropractic, to their credit, showed up on time, had all of their player cards and roster, and were ready to play at 7:00 p.m. at the Montessori Earth School.

Game on! PDX kicked off to start but 'Gers soon reclaimed possession and kept good pressure on the Division End goal mouth. We played a solid mix of short passes, control, wing runs and some "kick and run" to keep the orange side on the defensive. Despite the lion's share of play and some promising early signs of intent, the game was scoreless for two-thirds of the first half. On occasion, PDX would counter against the run of play but the fullbacks, playing high and tight on Snyder's direction, generally caught the strikers and forced them out to the side lines. Around the twenty-fifth minute or so the referee flagged Berg for improper handling of a back pass around the penalty spot and hearts raced as the squad rushed back to reform a hasty wall. PDX--cheeky monkeys!--opted to take the quick kick on the indirect and the resulting shot would have been good for three in the NFL but counted for nothing in real football. Having escaped unscathed, Rangers regrouped and punished the visitors in quick fashion. Burden was finding success repeatedly along the left wing, making long throws and killer crosses into the box since the start of the match. At approximately minute 25 he made another cross from his corner position and, whizzing the ball past the sweeper, found King camped on the six. A trap with the right and a smash on the left saw the keeper breached and the home side elated. Radigan ended the half with an expertly executed left footer to the inside side netting; I believe he was fed from Foubister off the right on a through run, but I could be incorrect. [Editor's note: As with all match summaries, some details may not be exactly correct, but humor me. I'm Irish.]

STOP ME IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE

Being up with two goals in the bank at half-time was a familiar position for 'Gers but astute scholars of our game will know that doesn't always ensure success. (Hey, Soccer Gods! I'm talking to you!) Determined not to let history repeat itself, the home side continued to focus on the positives at the break. "Look at them," someone said. "They are looking tired. Keep running and subbing." Effective subbing had helped to give us the lead and would continue to our advantage in the second half. EVERYBODY on the pitch ran for every ball and scrapped for every tackle. Lemos in particular seemed to be literally everywhere, not limited by his left back role. If the average footballer runs 8600 meters or so per game, Dario must have topped 10,000. Burden, Muralt, Sibanda and Vogel worked well to control the center. McConnachie, Foubister and Ingersoll had success turning their wings and getting outside shots and feeds to the middle. Defensively, Calkins and Hayden were solid; Dan chased down the occasional offsides trap refugee and David cleared several PDX passes out of danger. Also of note (since everybody is getting mad props in this summary) was Snyder's expert slide tackle around the seventieth minute. An orange striker broke the middle and Jim ran him down, catching him just inside our box and sweeping the ball out to the far line with a perfect tackle. Any earlier and he would have missed. Any later and he would swept the legs for a penalty.

"I DON'T EVER WANT THIS GAME TO END!"

Rangers kept steady pressure on from the second half kick-off. An early cross to the middle found Ingersoll go up and over his marker (not bad for the shortest guy on the squad!) for a rare headed shot that arced over the crossbar. King got his brace ten minutes into the half when Lemos (I think) pressured their midfield, stole it, and delivered it to Burden...who assisted again with a pass to the near post. King ran on to it, stuck his foot out, and the net rippled for a third time. The hat trick was completed fifteen minutes from time off a throw-in when McConnachie spotted King loosely marked in the middle. He launched it over the defender, King obliged the lonely, bouncing ball and gave it a home in the left side of the net. Foubister overheard the visitors ask how much time was remaining.

"Fifteen minutes," the match official answered.

"Jesus, don't you mean five?"

Fifteen minutes later the final whistle blew and 'Gers picked up their first three points of the campaign. The match was fairly even-tempered--although I think PDX did call one of us a "jerk-ass", but whatever--and our single fan, Sarah, was treated to a fine performance. It is hoped that the momentum will carry through to next Wednesday's tough rematch against Bridgetown FC.

Cheers!

Sean-Scott Ingersoll

FC77 Rangers 2 vs. NE Portland Chiropractic 2

(Scorers: Holstein 25', Ntini 46')

27 June, 2007

The ninth match of the 2007 spring campaign found FC77 on the artificial turf at Delta Strasser against NE Portland Chiropractic. Under pleasant evening skies and with a roster of fifteen (eventually), the Rangers noticed that the visitors had appeared to have taken their own advantage of the summer transfer window--at least two and perhaps more of their players were from Symmetry Northwest. Typically a struggling club, NE PDX played several through balls against the 'Gers back line and appeared more organized than their overall record suggested. Approximately fifteen minutes into the match, a fluke ricocheted shot plopped behind keeper Steve Berg and put the yellow and black down by one. Undaunted, the Rangers pressed on. Sean Ingersoll had a streaking left side run that resulted in a cross to Bullie Sibanda, who dummied the ball to Brian Bauman for a hard shot on NE PDX. Dan Holstein followed up with a beauty of a goal that appeared to come off a volley and found the back left corner of the net. Ten minutes later the visitors scored again, this one a legitimate goal, and at the break the Rangers were down 2-1.

Malvern Ntini, recently arrived at the field, started the second half as the center midfielder and immediately made an impact. After stealing the Chiropractor's kick-off, the Rangers passed the ball down the left side and connected with Ntini, who dribbled around the keeper to equalize after less than a minute's play. Dominating for long periods of the second half and outshooting our opponents by at least a 3 to 1 margin, it was only cruel fate that kept the winning goal from going in. Matt Muraut had a zinger from distance smack off the crossbar. Another bold dribbling effort by Ntini saw him go through the fullbacks and fire off a shot to the far post that, in apparent defiance on all the known laws of Newtonian physics, hit the inside of the woodwork and somehow spun out into the sprawling goalkeeper's gloves. In the final two minutes, the Rangers had a trio of threatening shots from inside the box and Chiropractic appeared resigned to wait it out until referee Bristol Schmitz's final whistle. Honestly, if the match had lasted another two minutes, we would have won...it was that close.

The club had another healthy turn-out in terms of spectators--our handful of fans included former Rangers manager Tim Hanson and his daughter. Kendall Ingersoll returned as Junior Ranger for the evening and promptly made friends with every other child in attendance. The tie brought our club record to 2-5-2, with fourteen goals scored--truly, our best showing in the last three years. Our season comes to an end in two weeks when we replay the English, who apparently lost for the first time last Wednesday. So...they are mortal after all, eh...?

Sean Ingersoll