FC77 Rangers 5 - 1 Wolfhounds FC
(Foubister 12', 40'; Burden 20'; Muralt 30'; Gaffney 75')
"Wolfhounds must be sternly disciplined when they are young so that they understand who is the alpha male master. An effective training technique is to repeatedly give their favorite toy, often a football, a time-out by sticking it in the back of a net. If you do not, they will often run wild through your grass, occasionally tearing up your yard and trying to mount your leg. After a few time-outs, perhaps five or so, they will be docile and just run around happily with their tongues hanging out."
Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer"*
Rangers collected all three points in the umpteenth 'Gers-Blue Monk (Wolfhounds FC) Derby, played this year on a gray Easter afternoon at the Montessori Earth School. The match was a good-natured reunion of sorts for many of the players, who just a month ago joined forces to play in the abbreviated GPSD O-30 Third Winter Outdoor Season and came away with a respectable 2-2-1 record. This match--not yet a civil union and not quite a civil war--put FC77 back to winning ways and allowed several returning players the chance to open their spring scoring accounts for the Yellow and Black.
Starting XI:
DeBar, goalkeeper
Foubister - McConnachie, strikers
With Wolfhounds starting ten players but quickly fielding a full side, the visitors were missing several regular players such as Lonnie Smith and Josh Taylor, but two new forwards gave them a new Pan-Asian fusion flavor. (Sadly, one of these players was ineligible and removed in the second half.) Despite a few quick runs that the Calkins and Bauman neutralized, 'Gers took immediate control of the match tempo and set about systematically breaking down the opposition. Around the twelfth minute, Muralt floated a beautiful cross over the 'Hounds back line and found Ingersoll making the far post run unmarked. He obliged the generous delivery with a deft one touch back to Foubister in the center, who finished the play with a casual shot to the lower right corner. Eight minutes later Ingersoll found Burden making a run to the top of the box from his right winger position. Burden cooly collected the pass, sized up the keeper, and fired an audacious shot from some twenty yards out that dropped just under the crossbar. A third goal was tallied around the half-hour mark when Muralt followed up on a bobbled collection (from Foubister's shot, if I'm not mistaken) and bulldozed his way through a frantic scramble to escort the ball into the net. 'Gers were cruising comfortably along when 'Hounds right fullback Pedro hit a long distance shot that swirled around in the drafting field gusts and caught keeper DeBar with a funny bounce around the 35th minute. 'Gers recovered their shape and Foubister slammed home a response a few minutes before half from just outside the far upright, re-establishing maximum goal differential.
When referee Greg Lavavich blew the whistle to start the second half, the outcome was no longer in doubt. 'Gers spent most of the second half camped outside the 'Hounds doghouse, keeping the goalie busy with a barrage of near misses, bouncing headers, sliding shots, give-and-gos, and distance lobs. Newcastle transfer Brian Gaffney got his name etched in the storied annals of 'Gers history with a well-taken worm-burner shot from the top of the box that beat the keeper to the right in the 75th and was unlucky not to have gotten a brace with a similarly taken blast just minutes before.
DeBar was generally undisturbed for most of the match but sprinted off his line to boot a 'Hounds breakaway back into the opposition's side in the second half. He also came out and went man to man with the striker when the referee missed an offsides call. With the defenders waiting in vain for the correct call, Debar took a point blank shot to the body and scrambled the follow-up to the outside until reinforcements came and ushered the ball away.
The Easter Day performance was indicative a typical Rangers performance, with everybody putting in 100% and nobody being a dick. King, McConnachie and Foubister proved to be an effective rotation on the front line, allowing for fresh legs on every jailbreak and Vogel, Fahrbach and Snyder all made short work of any runs along the sidelines. Snyder in particular had one clinically executed slide tackle that could have been used in a training DVD. That the score was not 8-1 is a bit of a mystery, but with eight matches remaining, there remains plenty of time for the squad to find their rhythm and continue with the sexy football.
Match photos:
Total hand ball that was not called in the 65th minute. Switzer?
We had to ask the referee to give us ten yards on this free kick. 85th minute.
Match notes: Attendance for the match was 4...Since no Junior Rangers were in attendance, the team ate the promised chocolate marshmallow eggs themselves...They were not very good...It took every iota of restraint not to include the following cliches in this summary: "Who Let the Dogs Out?", "Dog Day Afternoon" or "Doggy-Style". I reserve the right to use the last one in a future summary...
Next match:
Sunday, 19 April - 12:00 noon KO
Montessori Earth School
* -- Actually, I totally made this quote up.
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